Today I give a couple of tips that can help with obsession.

The_permanent_marker – Christo Botes – the man that is doing my tattoo tommorrow! Check out his instagram!

hi my lovelies I'm really excited today
I'm going to get to tattoo tomorrow I
had I never got lotty's named Don I have
the other children's names but I don't
have locked his name and so I'm going to
get that done and I'm gonna get it on
this arm and I've decided I'm gonna get
a sleeve obviously when it will be done
tomorrow but the guy is like super
talented you can follow him on Instagram
actually his name's Christo chri sto
boats bo tes and I believe his name the
permanent marker and you can like look
at all his work and he's like so good
and I'm so excited to go tomorrow and
get my tattoo so hopefully on Friday
I'll be able to show you what I've had
done okay so today I got asked to talk
about obsession I've done a video on
obsession before but I'm gonna talk
about taking those first steps to
overcome an obsession now those of us
with BPD can become obsessed like you
can look on cest over anything it could
be your work it could be a thing it
could be a place but I often find well
for me it was people guys basically that
I would become obsessed with and I used
to like feeling initially like when I
got a new obsession because it'd be like
oh good he's so wonderful he's amazing
but actually an obsession can completely
take over our lives to the point we
can't think of anything else we can't
focus on anything else we like cut
people out of our lives that actually
mean something to us
friends family because it becomes
all-consuming and all we want to do is
think about the person who are obsessed
with maybe turning up unannounced in
places they might be
following them a lot it gives sounds
really bad but this this is where
obsession takes us and looking back now
I can cringe it myself at how I used to
behave but it's actually a really really
painful place to be and it can get us in
all sorts of trouble it's not healthy it
really is not good for us and it's
something that if you are obsessing
someone for your own sanity and for your
own well-being you need to kind of break
out obsession now it's more easy because
obsession is like an addiction you just
want this person you might fantasize
about them and make stories up in your
head about them you can be obsessed with
someone that doesn't even know you exist
and then if you find out they've got
girlfriend get really jealous about that
and um I suppose that's just the nature
of it and it's horrible so I'm gonna
just it's gonna be a quick video because
I have to get the kitties from school so
my first tip I suppose would be
distraction techniques now obviously
it's not gonna work all the time because
otherwise you just constantly be
distracting but at least in the
beginning consciously try to make that
effort to do something to stop following
the person and stop going somewhere
where they might be like create distance
between yourself so if you have to see
them maybe try and cut that down so you
don't actually see them and you do have
to consciously do it I would say in the
beginning of like I said it's not that
easy it's not something you can do all
the time but at least as soon as you
become consciously aware of it think
okay I've got to do something now so go
to the cinema watch a film read a book
make new friends go out meet new
people and obviously in the beginning
especially your mind will go back to
that person but hopefully like once you
start putting some distraction
techniques into place over time they get
easier to implement and you can start
doing them more often because you will
become a lot more aware of your thoughts
maybe start up a new hobby do something
physical go for a run go to the gym do
an exercise class or something and and
like second tip I suppose would be
definitely mindfulness and I say that
because obsession is very much in here
isn't it in the mind and it's our
thoughts they're really obsessive we
can't stop thinking about the person and
it don't over and over and what
mindfulness does is it teaches us like
we learn to stay in the present moment
to just focus on what is going round on
around us so it's kinder you're kind of
distracting as well because rather than
just getting consumed with your mind
you're you're actually focusing on your
mind but you're in control of it so
you're focusing on what the air feels
like around you or the seat that you sat
on or what noises you can hear and
you're using your different senses to do
that and when you're consciously
focusing on all that is around you your
mind will switch off now it doesn't do
it straight away because I used to do
mindfulness and it used to drive me
insane because I'd be sat there and I'm
thinking oh yeah I can hear the trees
and then my mind would start going back
to oh that guy I love him so much he's
so wonderful and I'd have to notice and
go oh my mind wandered okay
back to what I'm doing I can hear the
sound to the birds I can feel the breeze
of my face all that guy so one will know
focus and your mind will keep going off
but the more you practice mindfulness
the better you become at
and you'll find your mark mine stops
stops wandering the more and more you
practices there and like I said it's
really really good way of stopping those
intrusive thoughts don't those obsessive
thoughts and it just gives us that bit
of calm now luckily obsessions don't
tend to go on forever and I la I don't
I'm not obsessed with anyone now but
they don't go on forever
they tend because I suppose especially
if you have BPD one minute we love
someone and then we can think in black
and think they are the scum of the earth
so I don't know if that's a good thing
but that can stop oh I'm sure I just saw
a shadow of someone move I say oh
because I'm here alone okay maybe I'm
imagining it so yes so sessions do go
they don't stay around forever luckily
but when we're in here it can feel like
I have no way out but we actually do and
like I said it's kind of creating that
distance maybe if you've got in a habit
of driving past this person's house
regularly make sure you drive a
different way so you're not tempted just
do that a bit if they go to the same gym
as you and you know what time they go go
at a different time and if you're always
looking on their Facebook give yourself
a ban like I'm not going on Facebook at
all I'm not going to do any social media
stalking today and it is difficult to
start with and you're probably not going
to succeed straightaway you probably
will go back on Facebook you probably
still will drive fast at some point but
the more you can stop yourself doing it
honestly the easier it does become and
eventually that obsession just starts to
diminish and go away and before you know
it you'll be obsession free
so there are my tips I knew they're not
like really really in-depth but they
have like two things that I found really
helpful so yes I'm going to leave that
there today guys I do want to be back
Friday to show off my new tattoo go and
check out that guy's Instagram page
because honestly it's amazing it's so
talented like these drawings and
everything of fantastic so yeah I'll be
looking forward to showing that obey
again do the school run I suppose yeah I
love you alright
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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