Today I give a couple of tips that can help with obsession.
The_permanent_marker – Christo Botes – the man that is doing my tattoo tommorrow! Check out his instagram!
hi my lovelies I'm really excited today I'm going to get to tattoo tomorrow I had I never got lotty's named Don I have the other children's names but I don't have locked his name and so I'm going to get that done and I'm gonna get it on this arm and I've decided I'm gonna get a sleeve obviously when it will be done tomorrow but the guy is like super talented you can follow him on Instagram actually his name's Christo chri sto boats bo tes and I believe his name the permanent marker and you can like look at all his work and he's like so good and I'm so excited to go tomorrow and get my tattoo so hopefully on Friday I'll be able to show you what I've had done okay so today I got asked to talk about obsession I've done a video on obsession before but I'm gonna talk about taking those first steps to overcome an obsession now those of us with BPD can become obsessed like you can look on cest over anything it could be your work it could be a thing it could be a place but I often find well for me it was people guys basically that I would become obsessed with and I used to like feeling initially like when I got a new obsession because it'd be like oh good he's so wonderful he's amazing but actually an obsession can completely take over our lives to the point we can't think of anything else we can't focus on anything else we like cut people out of our lives that actually mean something to us friends family because it becomes all-consuming and all we want to do is think about the person who are obsessed with maybe turning up unannounced in places they might be following them a lot it gives sounds really bad but this this is where obsession takes us and looking back now I can cringe it myself at how I used to behave but it's actually a really really painful place to be and it can get us in all sorts of trouble it's not healthy it really is not good for us and it's something that if you are obsessing someone for your own sanity and for your own well-being you need to kind of break out obsession now it's more easy because obsession is like an addiction you just want this person you might fantasize about them and make stories up in your head about them you can be obsessed with someone that doesn't even know you exist and then if you find out they've got girlfriend get really jealous about that and um I suppose that's just the nature of it and it's horrible so I'm gonna just it's gonna be a quick video because I have to get the kitties from school so my first tip I suppose would be distraction techniques now obviously it's not gonna work all the time because otherwise you just constantly be distracting but at least in the beginning consciously try to make that effort to do something to stop following the person and stop going somewhere where they might be like create distance between yourself so if you have to see them maybe try and cut that down so you don't actually see them and you do have to consciously do it I would say in the beginning of like I said it's not that easy it's not something you can do all the time but at least as soon as you become consciously aware of it think okay I've got to do something now so go to the cinema watch a film read a book make new friends go out meet new people and obviously in the beginning especially your mind will go back to that person but hopefully like once you start putting some distraction techniques into place over time they get easier to implement and you can start doing them more often because you will become a lot more aware of your thoughts maybe start up a new hobby do something physical go for a run go to the gym do an exercise class or something and and like second tip I suppose would be definitely mindfulness and I say that because obsession is very much in here isn't it in the mind and it's our thoughts they're really obsessive we can't stop thinking about the person and it don't over and over and what mindfulness does is it teaches us like we learn to stay in the present moment to just focus on what is going round on around us so it's kinder you're kind of distracting as well because rather than just getting consumed with your mind you're you're actually focusing on your mind but you're in control of it so you're focusing on what the air feels like around you or the seat that you sat on or what noises you can hear and you're using your different senses to do that and when you're consciously focusing on all that is around you your mind will switch off now it doesn't do it straight away because I used to do mindfulness and it used to drive me insane because I'd be sat there and I'm thinking oh yeah I can hear the trees and then my mind would start going back to oh that guy I love him so much he's so wonderful and I'd have to notice and go oh my mind wandered okay back to what I'm doing I can hear the sound to the birds I can feel the breeze of my face all that guy so one will know focus and your mind will keep going off but the more you practice mindfulness the better you become at and you'll find your mark mine stops stops wandering the more and more you practices there and like I said it's really really good way of stopping those intrusive thoughts don't those obsessive thoughts and it just gives us that bit of calm now luckily obsessions don't tend to go on forever and I la I don't I'm not obsessed with anyone now but they don't go on forever they tend because I suppose especially if you have BPD one minute we love someone and then we can think in black and think they are the scum of the earth so I don't know if that's a good thing but that can stop oh I'm sure I just saw a shadow of someone move I say oh because I'm here alone okay maybe I'm imagining it so yes so sessions do go they don't stay around forever luckily but when we're in here it can feel like I have no way out but we actually do and like I said it's kind of creating that distance maybe if you've got in a habit of driving past this person's house regularly make sure you drive a different way so you're not tempted just do that a bit if they go to the same gym as you and you know what time they go go at a different time and if you're always looking on their Facebook give yourself a ban like I'm not going on Facebook at all I'm not going to do any social media stalking today and it is difficult to start with and you're probably not going to succeed straightaway you probably will go back on Facebook you probably still will drive fast at some point but the more you can stop yourself doing it honestly the easier it does become and eventually that obsession just starts to diminish and go away and before you know it you'll be obsession free so there are my tips I knew they're not like really really in-depth but they have like two things that I found really helpful so yes I'm going to leave that there today guys I do want to be back Friday to show off my new tattoo go and check out that guy's Instagram page because honestly it's amazing it's so talented like these drawings and everything of fantastic so yeah I'll be looking forward to showing that obey again do the school run I suppose yeah I love you alright
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.