Today I consider something that has played on my mind for many years – could the reason I am the way I am today have something to do with an experience in a past life?

I my lovelies I've got a couple of more
collaborations coming up so in my
feature channel section I've put trade
Jones because he's a lovely young man
that I'm going to be clubbing with and
also with Chris from the rewired soul so
please do look out for that today's
video is a bit different I was chatting
with Cory last night and telling her a
personal story about past lives and then
I was like oh my goodness I have to do a
video for this on my channel I so have
to do this and so why am past lives
basically there will be some of you that
believe in past lives and some that
don't some that are really just summed
up noir and it doesn't matter the way I
see it is the universe as we know it
what we see the stars the planets the
galaxies earth etc makes up 4.6 percent
of the universe I said it's nothing 25%
of our universe is known as dark matter
and I always thought we're really
technologically advanced on this planet
but apparently not so because we cannot
detect what it is we don't know what it
is we've got no equipment that can see
it the other 70% is called dark energy
and we believe it's some force of some
kind but again we don't know so we're
kind of think how could there not be
more out there what we think is reality
isn't necessarily reality like I said in
one of my other videos I look pretty
solid my chair seems pretty solid based
more it's it's in a vibrating state it's
not solid so just because something
seems real doesn't necessarily mean that
is so past lives I've always had this
question because I was on that I never
got beaten as a child I know lots of
people with BPD do go through
some kind of abuse and neglect as child
I I never got beaten but as far back as
I can remember I have had a fear of
being held against my will
having belts used on me or whips and I'm
like got a fear of chains that all that
sort of thing
and I can remember I must have been
about three or four years old because my
dad hadn't left by this point and I
remember he had a drawl and it had belts
in it and I remember standing in the
cool way and he's just putting a bow on
and I just remember feeling sick to my
stomach and not knowing why so I grew up
eventually and I still had this fear and
I've carried it with me to the point the
other day I mean my partner Darren were
watching Deadpool and it's funny it's a
good film I like Ryan Reynolds he's
funny but in the beer where they kept
him like trapped in the chamber and they
were torturing him I had to run out
house not even the room because I was
like I was out out in the back garden
going is it finished is it finished the
only way I can describe the effect it
has on me like people being held against
their will
the thought whips though I mean it
honestly it make gives me goosebumps
it's really bad I feel like my blood
runs cold
I feel like lightheaded like I'm going
to faint
like this fear I feel choked but I can't
even say I can't speak I feel like my
stomach jumps into my mouth and I've
always wondered why why am I like this
what what is this fear where's this fear
come from and I spoke to my therapist
she landed years and years ago about in
it and we talked about like doing a
regression but I found out I was
pregnant with media at the time and I
decided against it because I thought if
I find out something
I might just I'm not emotionally strong
enough to deal with it that's how I felt
I was like no I don't want to know so I
just kind of left him and this brings me
to a few weeks ago and I was on YouTube
and I did a pick a card reading now I
don't do lots of pick a card really I
don't have my time to sit around picking
a card but I did a pick a card reading
and this girl is so freaking accurate
every time I do it it like blows my mind
how a spot on her reading is and she had
one past life so I was like okay so I
sat and I looked at the six cards and I
focused and I was like right I'm drawn
to that card and so then she kind of
talks a bit about what your life's like
now and why it's like this now based on
what your past life was and she is like
you might I think you've suffered some
kind of addiction in this life and
struggled your which is accurate um and
you're really cold in a relationship
like you freaked out you don't have been
touched spot-on and this is because
basically in a past life you were held
against your will by someone who was
supposed to love you and you were like
really badly abused on a regular basis
like for a long time and so you've come
into this life and you don't like that
closeness you don't not been touched and
it was just so spot-on and I suppose it
kind of it brought back everything that
I used to wonder the questions I used to
ask like I wonder if something else
happened in a past life so I did kind of
get me thinking and because there's a
lot of us with BPD that do like question
I mean there are a lot of people with
BPD that suffered the most abuse and
talk like trauma and neglect etcetera
but I suppose that that has something to
answer for in regards to the BPD but
what rather people that kind of don't
have that but think but something's not
right so that was one thing that I
suppose to me I maybe think yes that
makes perfect sense
like I said not everyone will believe in
past lives I've done like Lourdes
reading and I'm I read a book by dr.
eben Alexander and he wrote a proof of
heaven and basically he was a
and he was a professor at Harvard and
he'd done loads of brain surgeries and a
lot of the time people would come out
and say they had a near-death experience
and he'd not alone would be sympathetic
but think they were talking rubbish
because as far as he was concerned
consciousness was like part the brain it
was created by the brain it wasn't
anything separate so if they're
brain-dead they can't be conscious so
that's how he was and then he fell into
a coma and basically he's bought this
book out because his family were told
there was 95% chance he would die 5%
chance he'd make it but if he did he'd
be in a vegetative state because he was
so severely brain-damaged and he made a
full recovery and not only that he had a
near-death experience and so he realized
while all the machines said his brain
was dead not working nothing he had all
these experiences and that's what he
writes about and I like Leo spoke
because he didn't have anything to gain
from talking about his experience and he
had a lot to lose because he was really
respected neurosurgeon but that was his
experience and he's fought out a couple
of books now and so that really
fascinates me because I do believe that
just our physical form is now our only
form I believe in consciousness I
believe we have a soul we know that
energy doesn't die energy doesn't go
it might change form but it's still
there and so our physical body can die
but then what happens to that energy or
the consciousness why couldn't it
transfer into someone else basically I
am I also like I was into like reading
about reincarnation and there was a dr.
Stevens Ian Stevenson I think and he was
professor of psychiatry the University
of Virginia and he did a stud like he
did studies and thousands of children
that said they had past life of like
past lives and memories of past lives
basically and when research has looked
into it everything kind of added up and
there was no way these kids could know
this now I won't go into all the details
because I'll go on and on there's so
much to say about him but just google it
because it's like real stories of
children with past life it's absolutely
fascinating and so yeah for me
absolutely I think we can transfer into
but we can reincarnate and I believe
that we can have bring some of those
traits with us into this new life and I
was just gonna say something else I'm
not completely forgot what it is think
think think
oh that's it I read even if you're not
into past lives this is something that's
scientific so I love animals so I don't
really like this story it's not really
bad about animals I've never tell you
anything really horrific but it's just a
science experiment and the experimental
mice and I just I don't like that sort
of thing but they basically had all the
mice and they made them I smell cherry
blossom and when my smell the cherry
blossom they'd give them a little
electric shock and the mice obviously
came to fear that smelling the cherry
blossom because they knew what was going
to happen so if they would then smell
the cherry blossom they'd freak out
before anything even happened that's not
what's interesting because that's kind
of what we'd expect right what was
interesting is that well after all that
experiment happened and the mice had
children the children were made to smell
cherry blossom and they freaked out now
the children had never experienced the
electric shock they weren't about then
but they knew that smell triggered
something in them which goes to show
that emotions like this fear and stuff
can be transferred down generations
biologically they can be transferred
down so maybe if you're someone who
question things and things I don't know
why I feel like the ester maybe it's not
necessarily a post likely maybe it's
just a past generation thing that has
been biologically passed down so I found
that like really fascinating basically
so I'm gonna leave that video there guys
let me know what you think in the
comments obviously it's kind of a bit of
a different topic but I'm sure it's
something that lots of people must ask
themselves unless it's just me but um
yeah let me know what your thoughts are
on it because like I said I've got like
my fear of whips chains and that is
completely irrational in the fact that
I've never been subjected to anything
with them so why would that fear be
there and why would that fear be there
from such a young young age and it's
almost like I almost feel like there's a
memory there by Jessica
on access it but I don't necessarily
think it's a memory of this life I don't
know what it is I can't explain it I
would love if one of you gave me the
answer so I'm gonna leave that there but
I'm gonna be doing different videos some
spirituality consciousness mindfulness
stuff like that because I really believe
in the way spirituality can help us like
with our mental health and like you guys
know I'm really into the sciences of
science of everything as well but I like
her strong believer that like the mind
can heal as well so I will possibly do a
video on that as well for you but like
you guys know I'm really really hectic
at the time because the kids are on
their summer holidays but they go back
to school soon so I'll be a bit free
yeah right enjoy the rest of your week
my guys love ya
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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