In this video I talk about my self harming and why I would do it.
Transcript:
hi um today I'm gonna talk about
self-harm I self-harm for the first time
when I was 14
yeah something that I did like four
years after really like I said in um one
of my prenup my prenatal depression
videos are actually even did it while I
was pregnant my awesome that was the
last time I did it and I self-harm for
different reasons it wasn't always the
same reason um sometimes if I had maybe
had another partner I might have done it
I think to make them feel bad like I was
home in there like so I could be like
look what you've done to me I'm quite
lucky that I haven't really liked you
I'm like those old orb scars I hope I'm
not covered in scars and a lot of my
most superficial cuts I would use a
knife or a razor and other times I've
self-harm I could just be so upset and
just by doing it every time I cut it was
like I don't know it's like all these
endorphins going off in your brain like
you're getting high from it but that's
how I felt like it was a rush I was
getting something out there other times
i self-harmed because I was so upset
about me something I was angry at myself
and I could just viciously lose my
temper and want to hurt myself
other times I self-harmed where it was
like to shut my mind up my mind was too
going mad and what I find is myself home
and after my arms would hurt but the
physical pain would take away from like
the emotional pain because they're not
have something else to focus on and so I
found that helped me eventually I got my
children's names done on my wrists
because I thought if I ever go to
self-harm I look down and I see my
children's things and that did that has
helped me the only time I did self-harm
like I said are suffering prenatally and
that was the only time I did it when I
had the children's names other than that
it did it did seem to stop it for me I
know it's not that simple and people
might self-harm somewhere else luckily I
didn't do that I mean I've read now
about these girls
on social media was a hashtag cup Zayn
and he left one direction and I just
think what are these girls doing like do
you know how this can affect you this
could get grip on you you might be
starting something here that you will
not be able to stop so easily and you're
gonna grow up with these scars and it's
not nice I mean I wish I know I'm lucky
I'm very lucky I've seen you put a lot
worse than me and it's not something
that anyone I think looks back proudly
on you yeah you know you just wish you
haven't done it but you were in such a
dark place and so for these girls to be
saying hashtag cut there's a name I just
I don't get it
really I think I don't know is it to be
cool is this the new craze because it's
not cool it's not nice you will regret
it when you're older
especially if you have children and they
ask you what's that which my children
have and I said I got scratched by a cat
I'm gonna give them fear of cats then I
leave that one there
self-harm I self-harm for the first time
when I was 14
yeah something that I did like four
years after really like I said in um one
of my prenup my prenatal depression
videos are actually even did it while I
was pregnant my awesome that was the
last time I did it and I self-harm for
different reasons it wasn't always the
same reason um sometimes if I had maybe
had another partner I might have done it
I think to make them feel bad like I was
home in there like so I could be like
look what you've done to me I'm quite
lucky that I haven't really liked you
I'm like those old orb scars I hope I'm
not covered in scars and a lot of my
most superficial cuts I would use a
knife or a razor and other times I've
self-harm I could just be so upset and
just by doing it every time I cut it was
like I don't know it's like all these
endorphins going off in your brain like
you're getting high from it but that's
how I felt like it was a rush I was
getting something out there other times
i self-harmed because I was so upset
about me something I was angry at myself
and I could just viciously lose my
temper and want to hurt myself
other times I self-harmed where it was
like to shut my mind up my mind was too
going mad and what I find is myself home
and after my arms would hurt but the
physical pain would take away from like
the emotional pain because they're not
have something else to focus on and so I
found that helped me eventually I got my
children's names done on my wrists
because I thought if I ever go to
self-harm I look down and I see my
children's things and that did that has
helped me the only time I did self-harm
like I said are suffering prenatally and
that was the only time I did it when I
had the children's names other than that
it did it did seem to stop it for me I
know it's not that simple and people
might self-harm somewhere else luckily I
didn't do that I mean I've read now
about these girls
on social media was a hashtag cup Zayn
and he left one direction and I just
think what are these girls doing like do
you know how this can affect you this
could get grip on you you might be
starting something here that you will
not be able to stop so easily and you're
gonna grow up with these scars and it's
not nice I mean I wish I know I'm lucky
I'm very lucky I've seen you put a lot
worse than me and it's not something
that anyone I think looks back proudly
on you yeah you know you just wish you
haven't done it but you were in such a
dark place and so for these girls to be
saying hashtag cut there's a name I just
I don't get it
really I think I don't know is it to be
cool is this the new craze because it's
not cool it's not nice you will regret
it when you're older
especially if you have children and they
ask you what's that which my children
have and I said I got scratched by a cat
I'm gonna give them fear of cats then I
leave that one there