Those of us with BPD often find that we copy other peopes look, personality and even behaviour. Why do we do this? What is the reason behind it?
hi guys happy Friday today I'm taking a video request from layout who asked me to talk about stealing other people's personality traits hello lay out before I just quickly discussed that I am pleased to announce my website which hasn't launched yet I'm really sorry but I'm able to now give you the name of that it's myself and my partner Megan that have set it up and it is called BPD tribe the reason that I called it we chose the name tribe is the work v speaks of a group of people come together they're strong it's empowering your warriors so that is the name like I said it hasn't yet launched I can't wait for it to launch but currently I'm trying to get the content added to it first right so back to layout request now I've talked about this before because one of the traits of BPD is unclear and unstable self-image and that's basically we don't know who we are we might not like who we are often we're really insecure so it then makes sense that if we see people that we like and we think they've got great personality that we are then going to a copier because we want to be liked we want to fit in and this goes back hundreds of thousands of years I've talked about it before when we did we lived in tribes and we have our personalities and we it was vital for us to fit in with a tribe because if we were on our own against a big lion or whatnot our chance of survival is slim whereas if we were together as a tribe fitting in and our personality helps us 410 then our chances of survival were way higher so it's normal for the human race to want to be light want to fit in we are social creatures but those of us with BPD often feel like we don't feel our personalities go against us they're supposed to help us fit in and yet they don't so yeah we have unclear and unstable self-image which I've discussed before but there are also other reasons now copying someone or mirroring someone is actually really normal most people to it to some certain extent back when I was 18 living the dream as a telemarketer we did training and in that training we were taught to mirror the person we were talking to so if someone was like hi how are you we would snow and lower our voice to mimic their voice because it helps you make a connection and so everyone can do it but we contend those of us with moosari those of us with BPD can tend to do it to an extreme and it can become problematic in the fact that we don't know who we are we're just constantly copying other people and we don't feel content because our whole lives can feel like it's made up we will we're putting on this act and that's part of why we do it we put we've copy other people because we want to hide out for yourselves because often we don't like who we are now like I said it for a lot of people it's normal but for those of us with BPD it can become really problematic and it can leave us feeling miserable and actually feeling more insecure so when that happens we it's like important that we actually take action and start one building our self-esteem learning who we are and when we go to copy someone maybe recognize when we're doing it and don't know don't say out loud and say I'm copying you I'm not a minute but in your head like okay I'm just copying go back to Who I am and it is kind of constantly reminding yourself now our past actually has a huge impact on like our self-image how we interact with others so when we're growing up our main caregivers they're supposed to be our role models now what if someone had really awful role models they suffered abuse neglect they grow up one with attachment issues but also not knowing how to interact socially looking for someone else to mirror because they don't want to be like the person that's treated them so badly so we often come into teenage years now the teenager is the adolescence he is really hard because that is when our our identity is being formed so that's why a lot of teenagers copy one another because they're trying to learn who they are they trying to socially interact and get on with people they want to be liked etc and but if you've also had a really awful childhood with no good role models it's going to really be heightened when we then reach our teams we will copy other people because we don't know how to socially interact we don't know what's like normal because we haven't been shown as children because if we've had a really awful childhood chances are unlike being completely to say neglected those things of learning how to like get on with others and socially interact we're not taught that so it's even harder you come into your teens and so we've kind of that's how we get through each day and try and get on socially with other people is just by copying everyone around us I've completely my mind what is my mind of course with recovery like I always say we can get to a point where we do build our self-esteem and we do learn who we are and that's not to say we won't ever mirror people because like I have just said is human nature to do it to some extent but we've got to look at why we do it are we doing it because we hate who we are we really don't like we just want to be someone else we wish we were someone else because if that's the case chances are it's a problem and we need to actually learn how to love ourselves and how to accept ourselves and I've talked for nearly eight minutes so I'm gonna leave it there guys but I will be back next week I love you all those back
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.