How do we deal with people with over bearing personalities? They can cause us to feel so intimidated and uncomfortable.

hi my lovelies today I'm doing a video
request from Sarah hi Sarah and she
asked me to talk about like people with
strong personalities now we will made
the saw the loudmouth who likes the
sound of their own voice they can come
across really domineering controlling
they might seem quite aggressive maybe
the way they speak is just really blunt
and for people with BPD who highly
sensitive we can very easily feel
intimidated by people like this to the
point we can feel like we've been
bullied we might just feel really
uncomfortable when we're around this old
person now I was thinking about it and
I'm pretty sure that I used to be a
loudmouth and I was thinking about like
why because I was not a confident person
but I was very good at wearing a mask
and putting on like this certain
personality to fit in and so I could
wear this martyr on this big loud
confident person and then I would feel
confident but I was just playing apart
if you know what I mean and the reason
I'm saying that is I think that's the
case with some not all but some people
that are just loud they come across as
really loud and confident but if you
scratch the surface you'll see actually
you've got really insecure person that
so I would always say that is something
worth considering because what you see
is not actually the truth all the time
now if you have one of these loud
domineering aggressive people
that live on your street it's relatively
easy to avoid them like you just don't
go to their house if you see them in the
street you can cross the road but what
happens if you work with someone like
this so you have to see this person
every day and you've just can't avoid
them and they come over to your desk
and they start like dominating the
conversation and they might turn the
conversation to be on you so you feel
like the spotlights on you and you're
kind of sat there and I can literally
just imagine if I was in that position
I'd be like not knowing what to say
thinking oh my god I'm going to say the
wrong thing I think we've just got to
realize actually just because someone's
behaving in this way
and talking like they're like this big
important person actually they it
doesn't make them better than us we
shouldn't feel really really small when
they're talking to us and because
actually we are we are the same we're
just the same obviously we're just not
loud much but so there are a few things
you should do the first thing is if
they're outright rude to you or calling
names you have every right to stand up
for yourself and say do not call me that
or I do not appreciate you speaking to
me in that tone you have every right to
say that because if you just let them
carry on calling you names or poking
down to you it's just going to continue
unless you do stand up for yourself
another thing you can do is not in an
aggressive way but just like talk to
them about the way they talk to you so
you could say look when you stand over
my desk looking down on me like pointing
your finger
or doing what he do you are really like
domineering and I feel really
uncomfortable and you can just say that
because here's the thing they might not
even be aware that they're doing that
they might just be doing it and until
you point it out they won't be aware of
it so sometimes all it takes is making
them aware now I'm not I'm not saying
that we'll always solve the problem but
I mean it's doing it in quite a
diplomatic way not pointing the finger
are not getting aggressive with them
because a lot of the time these real big
loud mouths they kind of feel like they
deserve respect and that's fair enough
but so do you you deserve respect too so
you can be respectful to them but if
they're not respectful fit to you you
have the right to pull them up on that
and what else would I say if like you
are in a position where they're kind of
pointing the finger and saying oh you
haven't done this and if you don't get
this bit of work done or uuuuu really
pointing the finger at you putting the
spotlight on you
I'd say turn the conversation around and
be like you could say something like
yeah if I don't get it done that'll
probably cause you lots of problems
during it what will happen with you and
just just turn the conversation around
so suddenly it's not on you anymore it's
on them and I think it's important that
we just remember that these strong
personalities are like more difficult to
deal with when you're highly sensitive
but actually they're just a person just
like us they might have their issues
just like we have issues they're
actually no different I know we can
feel intimidated by them but a trick you
could do is like say okay so say say
they come marching over to your dad's
like loud you could like picture that I
was gonna say pitch them naked picture
them in like a little pink tutu and a
little hat or something if it's like a
guy in a suit picture him in I don't
know a pink swimming costume but do not
mean just picture them funny so out
they're talking and they're doing order
you're just imagining them looking
ridiculous and sometimes that's all we
need to do to get through because they
don't seem so scary and loud and that if
in our head
we're picturing them it in like a fairy
costume and it sounds really ridiculous
but trust me it does work and I've done
that a few times with people and I find
it really helpful so I'm gonna leave
that there today guys
but I will be back in the week I love
you later
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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