hi my lovelies today I'm doing a video
request from matheus and he asked about
suicidal thoughts and how do we control
them now if you have BPD or you're just
suffering with your mental health in
general
chances are at some point you have had
suicidal thoughts what we must realize
is that just because we've had the
thoughts thoughts don't necessarily mean
we're going to act on them but I can
remember for me once I started kind of
getting in the habit those having those
thoughts they would come more and more
often and the more they came it was like
the more likely eventually I was going
to act on them because it wasn't just a
one-off law it was something that I
really then started going over
everything in my mind I would think
people were better off without me I just
couldn't bear living like this anymore I
think you can start to feel so helpless
and feel like this is how you're always
going to feel and you just want to put
an end to it because you feel so
desperate and the thing is a thought is
just a thought and we do need to learn
how to manager because it is certainly
not good thing to get into the habit of
having suicidal thoughts to the point
where we start almost becoming
comfortable having them because we're
having them so often and one of the main
things to do if you are feeling suicidal
you are having suicidal thoughts talk to
someone phone your doctor if you really
think I cannot keep myself safe right
now get yourself to accident an
emergency go down to A&E there are I
know in the UK we have crisis lines that
you can call and
and the Samaritans you can phone the
Samaritans and it is so important that
you just tell someone how you're feeling
I know we're not like when I used to
feel like that the last thing I wanted
to do was tell anyone and unfortunately
because I kept it in and I wouldn't tell
anyone I would act on it I would take
load Appeals and I am so fortunate in
the fact that my attempts were just
attempts and because now I'm so happy to
be here and but back then I didn't see a
way out
so I can now sit here and tell you there
is a way out no matter how you're
feeling now no matter how bad you feel
things can change but you kind of have
to take that step and tell someone and
especially if you don't feel safe and
when you're having these thoughts try
and distract yourself I know it sounds
completely mad but one thing I used to
do I used to do mathematical sums in my
head and yes you're thinking more but
when you're trying to add up sums in
your head you are so focused on that you
cannot focus on anything else and even
if you just have to do that for a short
time till that feeling passes and I
suggest you do that realize that like
with suicide there are people that just
be so hurt now I know for male I
actually attempted suicide one time
and I had two of my children and you'd
think looking back I think I could've
left them without a mom how could I do
that but at the time that kinda didn't
cross my mind I was I was like feeding
the suicidal thoughts like yeah well
you'd be better off without you actually
no they wouldn't
they'll be better off with me getting
well which is what I eventually did and
just know as well like that this feeling
will pass just because you're feeling
like this right now in an hour's time
you might be feeling completely
differently so during that time from the
time you're feeling or thinking and
having that suicidal thoughts to when it
passes get busy go out for a walk just
do something
ideally if you really do like I said
I've said it before in the video but if
you really do think I can't keep myself
safe I am not safe for myself right now
you need to get to see a doctor to a
friend a family member you need to tell
someone and often by just telling
someone we can kind of see things from a
different perspective we can start
thinking about things differently and
rather than being on our own with our
thoughts which is a dangerous thing and
feeding those thoughts and take given
ourselves all the reasons why and we
should commit suicide when we talk to
someone else and we can hear it from
their side all the sudden we can kind of
rationalize and realize actually this
this isn't the answer this really isn't
the answer no matter how bad you think
things are they can get better suicide
is never the odd
um but I know it's easier said than done
because I've been there but like I said
I've come out the other side and suicide
is a big fear for me for like because
you hear about it so often and you hear
about like the suicide rate is so high
with males I know females do as well and
I think like obviously I don't know for
sure but I think a lot of that is to do
with men bottle up their feelings they
don't feel they can talk and it kind of
goes to show like if you do talk and you
do communicate your feelings it will
help I am going to leave that video
there I think it's a horrid subject to
talk about because it is so real and I
can remember just how bad I used to feel
so I do get that I can I get how you
feel if you're having suicidal thoughts
but you just kind of have to have some
faith and know that you will get through
this you really really will so I'll
leave it there my lovelies and I will
see you again in the week