Today I discuss how we tell the difference between being rightfully upset over something or whether we are just being overly sensitive. Do we isolate because we are generally busy or are we isolating on purpose? What about when we have a partner who constantly blames our BPD for our symptoms?

Transcript:
hi guys happy Wednesday what am I doing
here on a Wednesday I have decided to
make a few tiny changes to my channel
because I started noticing I was doing
really really long like 20 plus minute
videos on a Friday with a few topics in
and you might be interested in one topic
but not necessarily another so I've
decided I will stick to doing one video
request per video and so my videos will
be shorter so you don't have to hear me
woeful on for so long but I will do two
a week as opposed to one video a week so
going back to doing it more basically
and see how that goes before I start
today's video requests I wanted to let
everyone know the lovely Corey the
borderline knife that's her channel is
back she took a short break and now
she's back which is fantastic I know a
lot of you already subscribed to her
channel I really like Corey
she's so lovely I remember when I first
saw my channel she was like she reached
out she's like hey I'm one borderline to
another and it's been really nice to
watch our channels grow together and say
yes do you if you haven't checked out
her channel do so yeah welcome back
Corey right today I'm doing video
requests from Jenna and I loved Jenna's
video requests hi Jenna by the way she
asks like how do you tell the difference
between actual BPD symptoms and us being
overly sensitive and she also asked how
do you know if you're isolating because
you're just generally busy or if you're
actually purposefully isolating because
she talked about how partners can take
advantage of the fact that it's our BPD
and we become like doormat so I really
really liked this video request because
how do we tell the difference I would
say that
yes we are overly sensitive we know that
our emotions are all over the place as
we learn skills and we get into recovery
we start becoming more self-aware now we
know that when we flip out or go
completely crazy over something that the
rational part of our brain that's
responsible for reasoning and a lot of
cool thinking it shall step but it's not
always shut down it's not like we go
through life without using this part of
our brain it's just when the emotional
part takes over that shuts down there
now with recovery we learn skills to
either cope in a crisis to start
learning to manage our emotions and we
start slowly start to learn how to start
using this part of our brain and we have
to consciously make an effort to do so
it takes time it takes practice and
there's no way straight next time you go
and you have a real emotional episode
that you're going to be able to go all
right use my logical brain huh it's like
I said it takes time to do that but what
you can do I say you've had massive
crisis and afterwards when your emotions
have calmed back down then start looking
at it logically that can be using skills
like checking the facts of what happened
another good one is especially if it's
like in relation to someone else cause
you to feel a certain way and you've
been emotional about it and then you're
thinking was I right to get that
emotional or am I being highly sensitive
good thing to do is ask an outsider ask
a friend who can look at it objectively
from an outside point of view and give
their perspective because chances are
they will be able to see things that we
possibly can't and by talking to them we
can start learning like to use that
logical partner oh yeah I didn't think
of that yeah you're right but you might
come to the conclusion actually you had
every right to feel that way now with
the isolation because I am so busy I
never get to see anyone really
especially as I'm building this new
website for you guys and I literally I
can't wait for it to launch I've just
trying to add content at the moment I'm
so busy that I just don't get to see
people but is that me making myself busy
because subconsciously I don't want to
see anyone the way I think you can
differentiate is ask yourself if my
friend phone now and said can I come
over for 10 minutes how would it make
you feel if I mean 10 minutes we come
even if we're cleaning the house
we got baked a cake or we've got do
something we can spare 10 minutes for a
friend now if we think about that and
think ok they're going to come over just
for 10 minutes and it fills us with
anxiety chances are we're purposefully
isolating if we are generally just busy
there it shouldn't fill us with anxiety
we can make 10 minutes and we should
make 10 minutes because with recovery we
need balance in our life it can't just
be all of one thing and nothing of
something else we really do need that
balance and especially when we have BPD
we need a support network around us and
if we're isolating and pushing everyone
close to us away how are we gonna build
a support network it's vital that we do
that and so no matter how busy we are we
have to make some time
to see people if you find just that
thought making time to see people fills
you with dread amazing Oh nanana Nana
chances are subconsciously you are
isolating on purpose by keeping busy
Jenna mentioned partners taking
advantage now I know all about this
because if like in my past I had a
meltdown or something so often a partner
would say to me do you need your meds
popped and I used to question that well
maybe I do maybe but looking back with
hindsight I think no I didn't need my
meds armed you were just being a
complete and utter wanker muffin and
that's why I had a meltdown I haven't
meltdown because EU but often but we
know when we have BPD we can't get into
these abusive kind of relationships you
often hear about people like with BPD
getting with the narcissist and it's so
easy then for our partner to project
onto us and make us feel like is the BPD
when it's not it's them they might have
generally done something that is not
acceptable and that's why it's important
we have a friend that we can talk to if
if you don't have a friend next time
you're with your clinician and your
psychologist your therapist ask them
their perspective because they might
have a completely different perspective
to what we have
because if all the time it's the VPD our
BBD symptoms being claimed yeah we're
gonna get treated like a doormat because
it's we're made to feel it is us all the
time we also made to feel that our
feelings are not valid now yes we might
be oversensitive but that doesn't mean
our feelings aren't valid it just means
we're highly sensitive if we're upset
over something we have a right to be
upset over something and if we have
someone in our life that's constantly oh
it's just the BPD well they're
completely invalidating us and they're
in validating our feelings and we don't
deserve to have someone like that in our
lives and because they will only make us
feel like we are the problem now I'm not
saying that we're not a problem
sometimes but it's generally not our
fault
with recovery we can learn to manage it
and so we are no longer become the
problem but there is no way that 100% of
the time we are not we are the problem
so yeah sorry I'm squeaking my shoes I'm
going to leave that there today guess
I'll be back on Friday and I love you
all Lieut
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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