Today I discuss how we tell the difference between being rightfully upset over something or whether we are just being overly sensitive. Do we isolate because we are generally busy or are we isolating on purpose? What about when we have a partner who constantly blames our BPD for our symptoms?
hi guys happy Wednesday what am I doing here on a Wednesday I have decided to make a few tiny changes to my channel because I started noticing I was doing really really long like 20 plus minute videos on a Friday with a few topics in and you might be interested in one topic but not necessarily another so I've decided I will stick to doing one video request per video and so my videos will be shorter so you don't have to hear me woeful on for so long but I will do two a week as opposed to one video a week so going back to doing it more basically and see how that goes before I start today's video requests I wanted to let everyone know the lovely Corey the borderline knife that's her channel is back she took a short break and now she's back which is fantastic I know a lot of you already subscribed to her channel I really like Corey she's so lovely I remember when I first saw my channel she was like she reached out she's like hey I'm one borderline to another and it's been really nice to watch our channels grow together and say yes do you if you haven't checked out her channel do so yeah welcome back Corey right today I'm doing video requests from Jenna and I loved Jenna's video requests hi Jenna by the way she asks like how do you tell the difference between actual BPD symptoms and us being overly sensitive and she also asked how do you know if you're isolating because you're just generally busy or if you're actually purposefully isolating because she talked about how partners can take advantage of the fact that it's our BPD and we become like doormat so I really really liked this video request because how do we tell the difference I would say that yes we are overly sensitive we know that our emotions are all over the place as we learn skills and we get into recovery we start becoming more self-aware now we know that when we flip out or go completely crazy over something that the rational part of our brain that's responsible for reasoning and a lot of cool thinking it shall step but it's not always shut down it's not like we go through life without using this part of our brain it's just when the emotional part takes over that shuts down there now with recovery we learn skills to either cope in a crisis to start learning to manage our emotions and we start slowly start to learn how to start using this part of our brain and we have to consciously make an effort to do so it takes time it takes practice and there's no way straight next time you go and you have a real emotional episode that you're going to be able to go all right use my logical brain huh it's like I said it takes time to do that but what you can do I say you've had massive crisis and afterwards when your emotions have calmed back down then start looking at it logically that can be using skills like checking the facts of what happened another good one is especially if it's like in relation to someone else cause you to feel a certain way and you've been emotional about it and then you're thinking was I right to get that emotional or am I being highly sensitive good thing to do is ask an outsider ask a friend who can look at it objectively from an outside point of view and give their perspective because chances are they will be able to see things that we possibly can't and by talking to them we can start learning like to use that logical partner oh yeah I didn't think of that yeah you're right but you might come to the conclusion actually you had every right to feel that way now with the isolation because I am so busy I never get to see anyone really especially as I'm building this new website for you guys and I literally I can't wait for it to launch I've just trying to add content at the moment I'm so busy that I just don't get to see people but is that me making myself busy because subconsciously I don't want to see anyone the way I think you can differentiate is ask yourself if my friend phone now and said can I come over for 10 minutes how would it make you feel if I mean 10 minutes we come even if we're cleaning the house we got baked a cake or we've got do something we can spare 10 minutes for a friend now if we think about that and think ok they're going to come over just for 10 minutes and it fills us with anxiety chances are we're purposefully isolating if we are generally just busy there it shouldn't fill us with anxiety we can make 10 minutes and we should make 10 minutes because with recovery we need balance in our life it can't just be all of one thing and nothing of something else we really do need that balance and especially when we have BPD we need a support network around us and if we're isolating and pushing everyone close to us away how are we gonna build a support network it's vital that we do that and so no matter how busy we are we have to make some time to see people if you find just that thought making time to see people fills you with dread amazing Oh nanana Nana chances are subconsciously you are isolating on purpose by keeping busy Jenna mentioned partners taking advantage now I know all about this because if like in my past I had a meltdown or something so often a partner would say to me do you need your meds popped and I used to question that well maybe I do maybe but looking back with hindsight I think no I didn't need my meds armed you were just being a complete and utter wanker muffin and that's why I had a meltdown I haven't meltdown because EU but often but we know when we have BPD we can't get into these abusive kind of relationships you often hear about people like with BPD getting with the narcissist and it's so easy then for our partner to project onto us and make us feel like is the BPD when it's not it's them they might have generally done something that is not acceptable and that's why it's important we have a friend that we can talk to if if you don't have a friend next time you're with your clinician and your psychologist your therapist ask them their perspective because they might have a completely different perspective to what we have because if all the time it's the VPD our BBD symptoms being claimed yeah we're gonna get treated like a doormat because it's we're made to feel it is us all the time we also made to feel that our feelings are not valid now yes we might be oversensitive but that doesn't mean our feelings aren't valid it just means we're highly sensitive if we're upset over something we have a right to be upset over something and if we have someone in our life that's constantly oh it's just the BPD well they're completely invalidating us and they're in validating our feelings and we don't deserve to have someone like that in our lives and because they will only make us feel like we are the problem now I'm not saying that we're not a problem sometimes but it's generally not our fault with recovery we can learn to manage it and so we are no longer become the problem but there is no way that 100% of the time we are not we are the problem so yeah sorry I'm squeaking my shoes I'm going to leave that there today guess I'll be back on Friday and I love you all Lieut
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.