hi guys i am going to talk about a
subject that someone actually sent me a
message it was a guy he messaged me I
haven't written down exactly what it was
I don't even think it was a video
request but he was just asking me and i
thought that is great i want to use that
and do a video on it and basically he
was asking about um what do we tell our
kids when we have mental health problems
how do we explain it to them wide weeks
how do explain we behave the way we do
now I know I touched on and what we do
say if our children ask us about our
self harm scars and I kinda took
slightly on the subject there but I'm
going to do a different video now
because for me I don't I know rather
that I behaved differently I do not want
my children to grow up and think my
behaviors are the norm that's normal
behavior I want them to know that
actually mommy's got something wrong
depending on your child's age is what
you tell them because if you start
trying to explain borderline personality
disorder to a three-year-old we're a
four-year-old they're just not gonna get
it I don't even think my five-year-old
were to get it but I have I have a
seven-year-old daughter five-year-old
son and two-year-old son obviously my
two year old is too young to understand
i'm very fortunate though that all those
behaviors that I used to have my
two-year-old haven't seen because I'm in
recovery and I manage my symptoms today
my five-year-old and my seven-year-old
they also don't see those behaviors I
talked about in the video i just did now
about time I completely lost it in such
shouting screaming in the car when my
daughter was like three and then but I
don't know if she remembers that I was
very lucky in the fact that I stayed
like I got into recovery when my
children were young but that doesn't
mean I'm not going to talk to them about
it because I think there will i know
there's a huge huge stigma attached to
mental health and i think if more
parents not even just parents with
mental health but just any parents
schools and we all talked about not just
our physical health and eating exercise
and eating healthy but we talked about
mental health from a young age there
would be less stigma attached to it so i
was in the car the other day with my
little ones and my daughter was actually
asking about my website and saying
because she's obviously seen a flyer
because we were driving down the road
and I said something she went yes
recovery mum ok what she said I said yes
recovery mum I went very clever Amelia
funny funny where did you read that this
is like it's your website and then so we
started talking and I started explaining
what the recovery was foul and how
different mummies now how she used to be
entered I asked them do you remember how
I used to be and then like know you've
always been like the way you are and
which is good because they don't
remember just how bad I was but I still
talk to them about it like I said it
kind of has to be age appropriate I
wouldn't start talking about suicide
attempts
and self-harming to my children they are
too young I have talked briefly kind of
about drug addiction and alcoholism but
not in like an animal kinda way I kind
of touched on the subject that people
can become addicted to something they
take something and it makes them feel
better but it's actually a false better
it's not real and so then they want more
and more and actually affects their
health and then they they start
affecting the mentally and I've
explained how it mental health to do
with your mind and your thoughts and how
it makes you feel and then if you feel a
certain way and you're having these
thoughts you will behave a certain way
and you might act in a way that you
wouldn't usually act and I'm very open
for my children about this sort of thing
and i would suggest like if you do have
borderline personality disorder miu have
children it is something worth sitting
down and talking to them about and
explaining what's wrong with Mummy
what's wrong with Daddy why do they do
that and it's very learned it hopefully
won't always be like that i'm going to
try and get recovery if you have teenage
children it's um lot easier to maybe is
it easier well you can explain it in
more depth I wouldn't say it's easier
actually but you can definitely go into
a bit more depth with them I had a
message actually this week what did it
say and I thought I've got a reply on
that I think someone had talks about
that their partner has it and how much
do they have to put up with because the
partner with BPD is now really
negatively affecting the children I
would say if you're in that situation
and its really negatively affecting the
children you have to put the children
first the children have to confer
and that's obviously if you're a partner
it doesn't mean you have to break up but
it might mean that we need some space
that I can't have this around the kids
but also talk to the kids and explain
what's going on because if they don't
know it's so much more confusing they
just don't understand like teenage kids
they know so much nowadays and we can
talk to them you might choose not to and
keep it all hush-hush actually that
makes it worse because then they might
start thinking that behaviors normal and
we don't run that so yeah I would just
say just be open as much as you can open
an honest and talk about it and yeah I'm
going to leave that there but have a
great week guys and I will be back in a
week bye