hi my lovelies um I have a lovely
message of a girl called Lucia hi Lucia
and she asked me to do a video basically
because her parents don't really believe
in labels her therapist did not want to
give her a label he said if he said she
had borderline personality disorder then
should think oh that's what was wrong
with me and she would start portraying
the trays even more and she asked my
opinion on air so I said I would do a
video for her to show her parents
hopefully hi Lucy as mum and dad
basically do what festival do I believe
in labels now unfortunately the
diagnostic label borderline personality
disorder brings a lot of stigma is that
it was initially called borderline
because we were seen to be on the border
of psychotic and neurotic but nowadays
people see the borderline as in it's
more on the borderline of is it is it
even a thing is it a problem or is it
not which just isn't the case because
BPD is a real thing the other problem
with the diagnostic label of borderline
personality disorder is it implies that
the problem is us we have a disorder of
our personality and and that's it it
fails to consider anything externally
perhaps trauma
like life experiences things we've gone
through and just focuses on our
personality so I don't like the name
borderline personality disorder I have
told you recently I'm working with an
American charity the black sheep project
and we will not be using the term
personality disorder and we see it as
more of a brain disorder I will not go
into the science of it now I'm sure you
will do that as part of the black sheep
project but it is now seen as more a
brain disorder rather than just
something wrong with our personality so
while I don't like the name I know in
different places there's other names
there's emotional intensity disorder
there's emotionally unstable personality
disorder again I don't like any of these
names I just don't because it's like I'm
just it's just intense emotions when
it's so much more than that
absolutely devastates our lives it's not
just oh we're just highly strong we're
just emotional it is so much more and is
going on up here it is a disorder of the
brain and so no I don't like the names
but might my doctor my wonderful doctor
Shradha I went to see him a few weeks
ago and we actually had this
conversation about labels and he said
the way we've got to see it is rather
than it's just a label see it as a code
- what is wrong with us so if we are
given this code as opposed to the label
we can then get the relevant treatment
because if we're not given anything
or code we can't be treated so we need
to have something to say this is what we
are dealing with and then we can get
recovery and and I like that I like the
thought of it being more a code as
opposed to just it's a label and stuck
on us because like I've said I don't
like the name borderline personality
disorder
it does have stigma attached to air and
if we see it as a code and to help us
get into treatment I like that I do like
that because treatment can bring us
recovery it is proven borderline
personality disorder can be managed with
the right treatment do I agree with
Lysias therapists that if we're told we
have this we will then act like we have
it well no because it's there anyway
we're not gonna mean more by oh no I'll
be like that more because I listen I
don't believe we do that it's there I
think it's important we get a diagnosis
because as soon as we get that diagnosis
it can lead to the right treatment and I
feel like for me getting diagnosed was
the first step on my road to recovery
without that diagnosis I wouldn't be
here now
I wouldn't have got the treatment I
needed I wouldn't have learned about
borderline I wouldn't have learned to
understand myself and why I behave in a
way that I do but because I was given
that diagnosis I could do all those
things and I could get treatment and I
got well and so can you
um but getting diagnosed is important
it's really scary
first getting diagnosed for family
members who don't believe in labels they
don't really understand
I'd say learn about it read up
information about this disorder because
it will help you understand your loved
one that has it because a lot of family
members can just think they're just a
bad person
the way they're behaving is just it's
something wrong with them as opposed to
actually this is something going on up
here there's chemical imbalances going
on it's so much going up on up in our
brain and we cannot help this this is
not something we can just stop but but
with the right treatment we can because
we can learn to manage it I'm not saying
it will go away my fault line
personality disorder hasn't gone away
it's there lying dormant but if I saw a
doctor today
I wouldn't take all the boxes I wouldn't
meet the criteria to set get the
diagnosis but because I've had the
diagnosis and I've come into recovery
I've learnt to manage it I have a good
happy life today I have a wonderful
wonderful relationship with my mom my
step down my dad my brother a stepmom
like my children you're all my family
basically my friends I have healthy
relationships today they understand me
today whereas before I got diagnosed no
one understood me they just thought
something was wrong with me and possibly
though I could help her but that wasn't
the case I couldn't help but I couldn't
help who I was
so yes family members learn about this
disorder it is a real disorder it's not
just some label that's given to us and
the label or borderline personality
disorder does not describe it too well
it is not just a flaw in our personality
there are lots of contributing factors
to having borderline personality
disorder it is not something we can just
stop on our own accord
just think stop it
we are not bad people our behaviors
often make a scene write bad people but
we're really not deep down we're not
we're loving with compassionately kind
and we're in a lot of pain internally
living with borderline personality
disorder on a day-to-day basis is so
painful to live with and because of that
internal pain eating course this is so
much external pain we have problems with
our relationships we have problems with
our self-esteem can't seem to hold down
jobs we have awful mood swings but it's
proven that this disorder can be managed
and we can go on and have wonderful
lives BAE is accepting that we have it
getting the diagnosis getting the help
we need and you'll be well on your way
into recovery so right guys I'm going to
leave that there I love you all and I'll
be back next week