hi my lovelies today I wanted to do
another quick video on porn because
basically I did two porn videos before
and talking about one being addicted to
it and people with BPD well not even
just BPD but people watching it and then
I did the other one where I talked about
if you find out your partner's watching
porn and the deep hurt feelings that can
come with that and I got some great
comments back but it made me think
but I kind there was a side to it that I
really missed out and there was a lovely
girl called Clara who sent a brilliant
comment and it really got me thinking
and another lady similar comment that
got me thinking as well because
basically I was in the one in the video
where I talked about finding out your
partner and what was it I was kind of
like I explained how her I had been in
the past but kind of by the end of the
video I was saying but you know this is
what guys do this is what girls do it
doesn't mean anything it doesn't reflect
on you it's just Paul and that's all
well and good and what I was trying to
say to you was don't take it personally
don't think it's something to do with
you and what I kind of mean by that I'm
gonna go into a bit more is it's
actually more about the person that's
watching it than it is about you but we
can take it to heart
I can look her self-esteem Muddy Buddy
wrong and like I said there was a lovely
girl called Clara hi Clara and she sent
me a great comment
I haven't replied yet I'm really sorry
I'm still a week behind replying but it
really got me thinking like about porn
addiction she suggested I was a TED talk
called the great porn experiment which I
did and then I saw lots of other talks
on it and honest honestly I really had
no idea like I know the porn industry is
huge I know that and I know loads of
people watch it but I didn't realize
that so many people are actually really
being affected negatively by it but
especially youngsters of today
now I'm 34 when my 35 35 35 this year
October 13th and 35 yet it's not a year
off so I'm thankful and when I was young
the only kind of porn that was out was
on videos though the big videos or
top-shelf magazines but now people can
access it constantly on the phone on the
laptop and computer and it's just so
accessible and kind in this head talk
they were saying how it's affecting
especially youngsters because this is
the first sort of porn they're watching
I mean I can't remember the first time I
saw porn
I wasn't young I wasn't long but
apparently if there's kids as young as
10 today looking for porn on the
internet
and it really opened my eyes because I
like I said I knew porns big I didn't
know just how destructive it is and how
it keeps ruining relationships because
people are watching porn and it's very
easy to get dicted to they explain like
how
brain works and with a porn addiction is
exactly the same as a heroin addiction a
cocaine addiction it sets off those
chemicals in the brain it makes them
want more and more and more they can get
depressed in their life and all the kind
of negative traits that you get with say
a drug addiction you can get with the
porn addiction and there's like
relationships like I said being
destroyed because once you kind of is
like with a drug you take a drug and
then you kind of get used to it and you
need that bit more and that bit more and
it's the same with porn and well they
say people spend time clicking through
clicking clicking clicking clicking
looking for something different
constantly because their needs aren't
then getting met they need more and more
and more and they were saying a reptile
dysfunction in men is so much more
common nowadays and it's really ruining
things in relationships and I completely
get right now because if you're with a
guy and he's addicted to porn and then
he can't get it up in the bedroom for
you that's gonna knock your self-esteem
and you're gonna feel like what am I not
doing right and you bring it back to
self when actually it is his issues and
and it's likewise girls can become
addicted as well I'm not just saying
boys I think it is healthy if you're in
a relationship and you find out your
partner is not just watching a little
bit of porn but like all the time or
regularly and it's causing problems for
your relationship and in the bedroom and
you're feeling less than then you are
quite within your rights to set to sit
down and talk to them and say how you
feel how it makes you
you feel because it's not fair on you to
just put up with it if it's really
affecting you that negatively and it's
something that should be talked about if
you're in a relationship and it's love
and you trust each other you should be
able to talk about these things so you
shouldn't because in my other videos
let's just pause and after a like I read
the comments my phone thought I
shouldn't be saying you know just put up
with it basically because you shouldn't
have to do if it really does affect you
and it's upsetting you that much
you are perfectly within your rights to
say that this isn't okay this is
affecting us they so this makes me feel
less than and just talk about it so I
think that's what I was kind of trying
to get out today yeah so I will leave
that one there my lovelies and and I'll
be back in the week what are we Tuesday
yeah I'll be back in a week I