hi my lovelies I've just done this video
and talked for ten minutes and the whole
thing didn't record someone knowing well
it froze halfway through and I just
willful don for the other five minutes
and I don't like having to do videos
again because I often repeat myself
because I think did I say that in this
video last video it was last video and I
say again not knowing I have said in
this video so I say the same thing twice
and it's my video today I have a little
guest here I got Paul from school you
who she is
apparently well you seem very well since
she'd come home you do she's given me oh
she would know the carriages madam right
okay obviously certain videos I couldn't
do and I was hoping to get quite a few
videos on today but there are a few not
your fault that you're faking yeah
there's a few videos that I wanted to do
that I can't but I can talk about things
in front of my little girl because like
I have said in my videos and before I do
discuss mental health with them so they
do have an understanding of it
um right so today I'm gonna do a video
from Joel hi Joel and he asked me about
differences in male and female border
lines obviously the court and pulses are
the same but how are they different
socially you know what I just didn't
know I know that male and females tend
to be different anyway us ladies have
our female hormones and the men had the
male hormones
Haroun and we do we do behave
differently but regarding borderline
personality disorder how do we behave
differently I did not know so I've done
a little bit of research and I found
that generally speaking men and female
with borderline personality disorder
tend to display more similarities than
differences also both genders display
equal levels of emotional stress I'm
reading from my notes little torn
anything yeah so the emotional stress
both is equal but they have done a few
studies there have been studies done and
there is evidence to show that there are
some differences between the two sexes
but like I said generally speaking there
are more similarities but there are some
differences so what are those
differences right first of all men male
bored lines tend to be more explosive so
their anger is more likely to come out
like but I'm a female borderline and my
anger was very raw myself and I was very
explosive so I'm giving them the
differences but just because I'm saying
more men are more likely to be explosive
it doesn't mean women on because I know
from experience that we can we do so
yeah men are all little men are more
likely to be explosive men are also more
likely to suffer with substance use
abuse of youth than women
whereas women with borderline
personality disorder are more likely to
suffer eating disorders anxiety
disorders stress disorders but like I
just said just because these are the
differences it doesn't mean there aren't
men out there that have eating disorders
anxiety disorder stress disorders and
again from experience female borderline
as females can suffer with substance
misuse as well but these tend to be the
main differences now because of the
differences how we get help is different
let me explain let me explain I'm kinda
not making any sense here for years and
years it has seemed that there are more
females with borderline personality
disorder than males but only recently
it's becoming more evident that this
just isn't the case more and more men
are being diagnosed with borderline
personality disorder
now I think it's clear from reading the
differences why this might be if you
have a female with borderline
personality disorder suffers an eating
disorder so anxious she can't leave the
house chance saw she will see a GP she
will get referred to an eating disorders
clinic
she'll be referred to a mental health
team and whilst under this team she will
get a diagnosis of borderline
personality disorder now take the male
you have a male undiagnosed with border
he is an anti-social his rage is really
explosive he goes out he has substance
he misused the substances of illegal
substances so he goes out drinking using
drugs explosive anger gets in fights his
outcome he's more likely to end up in
jail go to prison or for the substance
misuse rehab if he goes to either these
again it's more likely the substance
abuse is going to be the focus and he's
not going to get a diagnosis of
borderline personality disorder we know
that it's a fact it's a very sad fact
that the suicide rate is highest amongst
young males now I think some of this is
due to the stigma attached some men they
kind of not all men but some men don't
think it's manly to say oh yeah I'm
suffering for my mental health so they
just went to a planet and if a man has
been raised by a safe 50s dad who's like
what you crying for some what you cried
for boys don't cry lead the coin to the
girls that kind of attitude
there are a lot men out there that have
been raised like this and they grow up
thinking it is wrong to cry they
shouldn't cry and so they hold it in
they can't tell anyone and I think this
is one of the reasons that the suicide
rate is highest amongst males and what
I've just said because they don't get
the right diagnosis they're not getting
the right diagnosis they are not getting
the right help
because the focus is on the behaviors
and if the paid one of the behaviors is
going out using drugs and getting into
fights rather than people delve a little
bit deeper and seeing or hang on why are
they using drugs why are they getting
into fights it's just they're a drug
addict and that's why they use and
that's why they get into fights and end
up in prison so yeah they don't get the
diagnosis that they need so that is
basically as far as my research went but
I hope it helped like if you are a male
borderline and you do find that what
I've said to be accurate like yeah I'm
using and I'm going out and I'm getting
in fights and I keep getting ended up in
prison or getting arrested question it
don't you don't just have to settle and
say okay well this is my life you can go
to your doctor and say I want to be
assessed all my mental health to be
assessed because yeah I use drugs and
that but I don't think that's the
problem because that's the thing the
drugs isn't the problem it might be the
thing that leads us to rock-bottom but
the drugs is often our your coping the
problem is our mental health it could be
the borderline personality disorder the
drugs is a coping mechanism but to
outsiders they don't know that they
don't know what's going on in our mind
so it is kind of going and letting
people know and if you are feeling
suicidal don't keep it to yourself you
owe it to yourself talk go to your
doctor talk tell a friend tell a family
member because it is okay to talk men
have just as much right to talk about
their mental health as women do
and they have just as much right to get
the help they deserve the help just as
much as women do I think it was Jolie
yeah Joel you mentioned to me that men
are not entitled to get on a big DBT
toilet toilet behavioral therapy in the
UK and I I didn't know that but thinking
that when I did DBT actually it was to
swim in in the course I did look it up I
think I went on the NHS website and it
didn't say men aren't allowed but it
said women who are self harming and are
suicidal should be referred for DBT so
women himself are me suicidal they're
referred it did not even mention men I
know I did like top of course a little
while ago and it was like DBT thing I
went to long life I'd talk to the people
there and it was just girls but I did
actually article I said how come is just
women and they said that men were
invited and men are always invited but
they tend not to show up which is that
because if the help is being offered
crappy grab it with both hands don't
just not turn up but the fact like that
then men aren't getting on DBT I think
there needs to be huge changes there
huge changes because it is unfair
because like I said at the beginning
both genders display equal levels of
emotional stress and and whereas women
are more likely to talk about it men are
more likely to hold it in and not say
anything and so they do need the help
but I'm gonna leave that there guys I
don't know where my little girl has gone
she get out in the garden
playing she should be in school she
actually said she was really poorly this
morning and I gave her some Calpol and
sent her into school because I think
unless they're like lying there can't
move with the temperature were 41 they
can go to school with a bit of
medication but the school actually
phoned I was like I gave her medication
like no she's really not well so I've
bought her home and she's just perked
right up she seems fine but still saying
mommy do I have to go in tomorrow yes
you have to go in tomorrow so yeah I've
just seen her on the slide in the garden
so she will definitely be going in to
pray but have a great week guys and
you'll see