hi guys I've got to be really quickly in
this video because i have just done two
videos after my tour of my house my flat
and the sound wasn't on because i think
had walked around with it whatever sound
wasn't on and on a friday my partner
takes the kids from school and then
brings them home and the time is now
four o'clock and i just found him I was
like I've just dude videos and sound
isnt working please don't come home yet
and he's like two minutes away so I was
like just stall let the kids run around
in the hallway or something dances so
I'm gonna try and redo the video quickly
and hope I don't miss anything out so
the first video that I'm doing is the
recovery process because I get messages
from people about recovery how long does
it take or forgot to I don't feel like
I'm getting anywhere and my thing with
it the thing I'd say to you is recovery
I've never said recovery is easy
recovery can be hard we have to put in
work and because I think before we know
about recovery our crazy behaviors
that's normal to us we don't know any
different but then you learn about
recovery and you learn actually I don't
have to be like that I I can that be at
peace and that's great especially when
you first starts just so you just start
DBT you go in you're enthusiastic you
doing it you meet other people that have
borderline and you're like I have
arrived and it's amazing and you feel
good and you're doing it and week's go
on you're feeling good and you're
feeling good and then all of a sudden
something happens you might have a rail
with a partner you might get sacked from
your job or whatever and you feel like
you're back where you started your self
harming your out using drugs you smash
in the place up like I used to do and it
feels like it feels like you've taken
one step forward and you have taken to
back and that is really hard because you
think what's the point I've done all
this work I felt okay and I'm always
going to be
like this but I'm here to tell you you
are not that is part of the process it
is exactly the same with in addiction
people find recovery they might go to
12-step meetings or that and they get
clean and they relapse and it can be
very easy to go well I didn't get it kit
basically but i'd say like most people
relapse and it's the same with the
borderline personality disorder when
you're starting your like therapy or
ever you're not just going to get it
like that it doesn't happen overnight if
it happened overnight and it was that
easy there would be a lot less people
suffering right now but it is a process
and it can take a long time I'm not
saying it takes you isn't isn't it it's
different for everyone I would say the
more you throw yourself into the therapy
the quicker you'll see results but
that's not say you're not doing great
for six months and then all of a sudden
you feel like you're back at square one
but you're not and I would say also to
you rather than thinking what's the
point look back on how far you have come
because they're all positives I had a
lovely young lady message me well I
don't know when she message might be in
a few days i replied last night and she
might be watching say hello if you are
and she like i just feel like a flat
blind but in her message she mentioned
like how far she's come in the past
three years and that's what I would say
to you rather than thinking I'm not
getting anywhere now think what I'm on
how far have you come there are times
yes we feel demotivated and we're not
getting anywhere but that's not just
people with borderline or mental health
or an addiction that is for anyone
absolutely anyone can go through stages
where they feel demotivated and just
can't be bothered and it's kind of
accepting that not beating yourself up
about it we beat ourselves up enough and
just saying all right I've kind of
flatlined a bit now but this feeling
will part
and I will get motivated to get and
rather than thinking I've got so far to
go is it ever going to get any better
one yes is going to get a lot better but
it doesn't just happen overnight but
look back on how far you've come you
might not feel you've come that far but
then you might have gone a week without
any impulsive reckless behaviour taking
over and whereas before you couldn't
even get that week so straight way that
is something and you hold them to all
those little things that will I don't do
that anymore I don't do that anymore i'm
a bit more in control you not gonna be
completely recovered I was not
completely recovered trust me it took me
time and effort I have said in another
video we are like warriors ask people
with mental health because we have to
fight we have to fight a lot harder than
your average person just to get through
life but when we come out the other side
which we can do we are a lot stronger
than your average person there is a song
by mattis yahoo I think it's m-80s why I
hate you if you youtube it and live like
a warrior now I first heard that song in
a film i watch with my son walking with
dinosaurs this little dinosaur called
patchy and it was a really sweet film
and the song came on at the end and I
sorry I love it and then I started
listening to the words and it's really
empowering and i love it when i'm
feeling a bit down i put it on and it
makes me think yeah i'm left with maria
and i just love it i have mentioned it
before but is one of those kind of feel
good song son really do like it that is
asked we are warriors we have fighters
we don't have to give up uh yes it gets
a lot better if you're flatlining at the
moment and you're feeling demotivate
don't just think how well that's it then
because it's not you've still got
further to go but don't focus on that
focus on how far you have come
recovery is a process and it's amazing
and when you come out the other side
it's amazing you will not always need
DBT courses you will not always need to
be seeing counselors you're not always
new medication basically once we have
these skills in place they become so
ingrained in our minds that we just live
our lives like we don't even know we
have borderline I don't wouldn't take
any other boxes now and that's because
and I don't I'm not consciously aware
constantly of having to rip skills in
place I just do it and life is brilliant
and it can be for you too so it is like
I said just a process if you feel like
you've taken two steps back it doesn't
mean you're going to take another two
back in another three back in another
four buccaneer back back back it's not
like that you are going to keep it might
be one step for to sit fat one step
forward two steps back it might be like
that for the time being eventually you
are moving in the right direction and
you will get where you need to be so do
stay strong so I'm going to go and
quickly do my other video before my
mental little children at home lots of
love to you guys hi