Is Recovery Easy? How long does it take? Will it get any better?
hi guys I've got to be really quickly in this video because i have just done two videos after my tour of my house my flat and the sound wasn't on because i think had walked around with it whatever sound wasn't on and on a friday my partner takes the kids from school and then brings them home and the time is now four o'clock and i just found him I was like I've just dude videos and sound isnt working please don't come home yet and he's like two minutes away so I was like just stall let the kids run around in the hallway or something dances so I'm gonna try and redo the video quickly and hope I don't miss anything out so the first video that I'm doing is the recovery process because I get messages from people about recovery how long does it take or forgot to I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere and my thing with it the thing I'd say to you is recovery I've never said recovery is easy recovery can be hard we have to put in work and because I think before we know about recovery our crazy behaviors that's normal to us we don't know any different but then you learn about recovery and you learn actually I don't have to be like that I I can that be at peace and that's great especially when you first starts just so you just start DBT you go in you're enthusiastic you doing it you meet other people that have borderline and you're like I have arrived and it's amazing and you feel good and you're doing it and week's go on you're feeling good and you're feeling good and then all of a sudden something happens you might have a rail with a partner you might get sacked from your job or whatever and you feel like you're back where you started your self harming your out using drugs you smash in the place up like I used to do and it feels like it feels like you've taken one step forward and you have taken to back and that is really hard because you think what's the point I've done all this work I felt okay and I'm always going to be like this but I'm here to tell you you are not that is part of the process it is exactly the same with in addiction people find recovery they might go to 12-step meetings or that and they get clean and they relapse and it can be very easy to go well I didn't get it kit basically but i'd say like most people relapse and it's the same with the borderline personality disorder when you're starting your like therapy or ever you're not just going to get it like that it doesn't happen overnight if it happened overnight and it was that easy there would be a lot less people suffering right now but it is a process and it can take a long time I'm not saying it takes you isn't isn't it it's different for everyone I would say the more you throw yourself into the therapy the quicker you'll see results but that's not say you're not doing great for six months and then all of a sudden you feel like you're back at square one but you're not and I would say also to you rather than thinking what's the point look back on how far you have come because they're all positives I had a lovely young lady message me well I don't know when she message might be in a few days i replied last night and she might be watching say hello if you are and she like i just feel like a flat blind but in her message she mentioned like how far she's come in the past three years and that's what I would say to you rather than thinking I'm not getting anywhere now think what I'm on how far have you come there are times yes we feel demotivated and we're not getting anywhere but that's not just people with borderline or mental health or an addiction that is for anyone absolutely anyone can go through stages where they feel demotivated and just can't be bothered and it's kind of accepting that not beating yourself up about it we beat ourselves up enough and just saying all right I've kind of flatlined a bit now but this feeling will part and I will get motivated to get and rather than thinking I've got so far to go is it ever going to get any better one yes is going to get a lot better but it doesn't just happen overnight but look back on how far you've come you might not feel you've come that far but then you might have gone a week without any impulsive reckless behaviour taking over and whereas before you couldn't even get that week so straight way that is something and you hold them to all those little things that will I don't do that anymore I don't do that anymore i'm a bit more in control you not gonna be completely recovered I was not completely recovered trust me it took me time and effort I have said in another video we are like warriors ask people with mental health because we have to fight we have to fight a lot harder than your average person just to get through life but when we come out the other side which we can do we are a lot stronger than your average person there is a song by mattis yahoo I think it's m-80s why I hate you if you youtube it and live like a warrior now I first heard that song in a film i watch with my son walking with dinosaurs this little dinosaur called patchy and it was a really sweet film and the song came on at the end and I sorry I love it and then I started listening to the words and it's really empowering and i love it when i'm feeling a bit down i put it on and it makes me think yeah i'm left with maria and i just love it i have mentioned it before but is one of those kind of feel good song son really do like it that is asked we are warriors we have fighters we don't have to give up uh yes it gets a lot better if you're flatlining at the moment and you're feeling demotivate don't just think how well that's it then because it's not you've still got further to go but don't focus on that focus on how far you have come recovery is a process and it's amazing and when you come out the other side it's amazing you will not always need DBT courses you will not always need to be seeing counselors you're not always new medication basically once we have these skills in place they become so ingrained in our minds that we just live our lives like we don't even know we have borderline I don't wouldn't take any other boxes now and that's because and I don't I'm not consciously aware constantly of having to rip skills in place I just do it and life is brilliant and it can be for you too so it is like I said just a process if you feel like you've taken two steps back it doesn't mean you're going to take another two back in another three back in another four buccaneer back back back it's not like that you are going to keep it might be one step for to sit fat one step forward two steps back it might be like that for the time being eventually you are moving in the right direction and you will get where you need to be so do stay strong so I'm going to go and quickly do my other video before my mental little children at home lots of love to you guys hi
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