hi my lovelies today I'm doing a video
request from Carolina TV girl and she
asked me about DBT dialectical
behavioral therapy and when therapy's
going really really well you start
feeling really good about yourself you
feel like you're in a much better place
than you were how do you know when it is
time to end there opee and she asked
about me when I ended therapy now I did
DBT for two years and the only reason I
actually stopped was because I was
nearing the end of my pregnancy with my
first child so I was due to give birth
and there was a heatwave that year and I
was really heavy and hot and so it was
just getting difficult to go so I
stopped but when do you know you're
ready because the thing is even with us
borderlines
sometimes we can go through stages where
things seem to be okay and it might only
be a few days things seem okay it might
be weeks it might be months but just as
we start until I think yeah everything's
great the borderline comes and bites us
on the butt and kind of a big reminder
like hey I'm still here I haven't gone
um and when we're doing therapy we're
learning new skills we're getting out
the house and meeting other people and
all this is good for us and helpful for
us initially we might not like that we
might not like being in a group setting
but and with time we get to know these
people and we get a bit more confident
going along and we can feel good and but
it doesn't necessarily mean it's right
to end therapy ah my advice to you
would be the only time I kind of I think
someone is truly ready to end their
therapy is one if their therapist thinks
they're ready obviously if the course
you're on say a one-year course and it
comes to the end of the course and they
have to stop it then you have to stop
you don't have a choice and because
unfortunately there are massive massive
waiting lists for DBT not every area
does it those that do are fortunate have
it but at the same time they're often
fully booked and you have a long way so
whereas I got to do it for quite a long
time and I could have gone on and done
it longer back then and I was very
fortunate nowadays people are do have
waiting lists and have to wait to get on
it so obviously if they're given just a
year then once it comes to it and they
have to end it so other people can do it
and so that's the other one if it
obviously ends it ends but that's kind
of taken out of your hands
but finally I would say you are ready to
stop therapy when you are actively using
your skills on a regular basis not oh
yeah I did that skill last month and
when you're starting to feel that those
skills that you're being taught whether
it's emotion regulation skills whether
it's distress tolerance whether it's an
interpersonal relationship whatever it
is whether you feel that they're
starting to become ingrained I mean they
don't have to be fully ingrained at this
point because this does take time and it
takes
practice but when you start just say you
hit crisis point and you used one of
your skills rather than one of our
unhelpful mechanisms
instead then chances are you're ready
you're ready to stop but DBT is kind of
an ongoing thing just because you're
actually stopping the DBT therapy
it doesn't mean DBT stops because a lot
of it is how much you practice at home
on your own but if you're going along
say to all your classes you're feeling
great you're doing homework but you're
not actually practicing your skills then
I don't believe you would be ready to
stop because if you're not practicing it
now while you're in therapy when it
stops you're definitely not going to and
that's the whole point we've have to
practice these skills the more we
practice them the more likely which use
them and like I've said before we need
to be practicing them when we don't even
need them when we're not in a crisis
because that's when they start to come
naturally to us and they feel natural as
opposed to we've never used them before
we have a crisis are we going to do it
you like use this skill that we've never
practiced it would just feel completely
alien to us and we won't use it so have
a think about how much you practice your
skills on your own at home when you
don't need them and ask yourself have I
had a crisis and how did I manage that
crisis obviously it's not going to be
completely perfect you might use some of
your skills and find they don't work but
the fact is you've used your skills and
know they might not work straightaway
but you're on the right path because
you've picked up one of those skills and
you've tried to use that instead and
maybe if that didn't work you try
something else I'm not saying you're
just going to get it and you're not
going to have a crisis or you will
manage every crisis perfectly because
again that does take time but you will
get there so and how well do you know
your staff as well ask yourself do I
know my staff do I know all the skills
do I understand it and if you can say
yes yes yes Talde questions and you're
practicing them then yeah you might be
ready to stop therapy but I certainly
wouldn't just stop just cause yeah
life's going okay I feel good do you
know your skills no do you know like do
you know your stuff no but I feel good
because that's the thing that we tend to
do and I have done it so many times I
have like a good week and I feel great
and I think I can take on the world but
unfortunately this is borderline
personality disorder we're talking about
and doesn't just disappear it will come
back and get us
yeah it might trick us into thinking
we're okay for a week but unless we
actually have those skills to back it up
and learn to manage it and control it
we're not going to be okay so I've just
gone into a complete package free go and
look at is such a lovely day outside can
you see outside my window machine I got
kids our swing can you see the slide
don't mind the dated curtains this I
love this new house the decor is a bit
dated and it kind of needs all
modernizing but do you know what
I am grateful today I have a roof over
my head and it's a lovely roof over my
head the kids have loads of space to run
and it's gas
moaning about my dated curtains right
and today I was talking about when it's
right to give up therapy okay so yeah I
think I've kind of covered everything I
am going to leave that there and try and
get some more videos done today it is so
beautiful outside I love the sunshine I
love it
unfortunately in the UK we get like two
coupling really nice days and then just
as we like yet good weathers here it
becomes overcast and gray and then the
rain comes it gets cold and miserable so
ideally I would like to go outside and
enjoy the weather but I have videos to
do so instead I'm going to sit and do
them and just look at the nice weather
out the window right my lovelies I hope
you're all well I love you all loads and
I will be back in the week