In this video I talk about the 7 Improving the moment skills.

hi guys today I am going to carry on
with the DBT skill distress tolerance we
have done distracting we have done self
soothing today we're going to do
improving the moment now each of the
videos I'm doing like 10 to 15 minutes
what you ought to think if you're
actually doing a DBT course it would be
each one would be 2 hours so I'm trying
to cram it in right improving the moment
it's all about using your mind when
you're in a crisis your mind is like all
over the place these are skills that
will quiet the mind the human brain is
amazing um we only use the small
percentage of it I might use a little
bit more than others no computer can
replicate the human brain and there is
the quote what's the quote I love George
Bernard Shaw the Nobel prize-winning
playwright I don't remember the whole
quote but it starts imagination is the
beginning of creation and I like that
because I think if you can imagine it it
can come true right what we're going to
do with improving the moment we have
this improve if you remember this each
of these are for a skill imagery amor
jury meaning prayer relaxation one thing
in the moment vacation and encouragement
so we will start with a marjorie right
imagery is basically were saying it's
imagination using your imagination in a
crisis loud this skill is brilliant but
it's something that needs to properly
practice when you're not in a crisis so
basic one of the things you can imagine
you could create in your mind
a safe place somewhere where you can go
you could picture you're in a room don't
just think I'm in a room really picture
it make it like come alive in your mind
picture where's the furniture if there
is any furniture where it's located all
the doors locked all the windows are
rather not
are you there on your own or is there a
friend there that you're talking to in
your mind imagine the feeling of being
now are you lying on a sofa are you
lying on a bed are you sitting on a
chair and get to know this safe place
well when you're not in a crisis and if
you've built it up and you can go there
when you are in a crisis you'll be able
to quickly take yourself there the safe
place doesn't have to be a room you
might be in a garden the secret garden
you might be walking in a rain forest
but you know where you're going because
you have been there lots of times before
because you have fact it's definitely it
could be lying on a beach enjoying the
view of the sea with the hot Sun down on
you while you're thinking how to coconut
you know just somewhere that you feel
good you feel relaxed and you feel safe
you you don't have to just imagine
you're in a place you could use your
imagination for other things so just say
you're in a crisis you could still be in
the crisis where you are student of
crisis but use your imagination to say
don't I it's all worked out everything's
just worked out okay it's not a crisis
after I've sold it all it's done and you
can use your imagination that way too
like I said that one it does need to be
practice especially if you've got your
safe place or somewhere nice to go yeah
practice when you're not in a crisis and
then it will come in so much use when
you are right m-meaning
meaning is basically what is the meaning
of all of this it can help if your
spiritual or if you're religious I like
to think of myself as spiritual but I'm
not religious but whatever happens like
it's good for me because I can look back
and all my background but out and past
experiences and now with hindsight I can
see that I grew I learned something from
those experiences those experiments is
have made me who I am today and I'm
stronger for X so now when I have a
crisis it's so much easier for me to
think right why am I going through this
well what is the meaning on all this how
am I going to grow from this what can I
take from this one my gonna learn from
this and so on and so on if you are
religious you could go and speak to a
priest a minister or someone and talk to
them about your problems and what you're
going through
yeah like meaning I like meaning because
I do believe we gave through these
things for a reason and I do believe
they help us become who we become if
they sense
sounds like a good quote they helped us
become or they become ah right what
letter am I on prayer right again prayer
is easier if you are religious and/or
spiritual it doesn't have to mean you
get down on your hands and knees and you
pray I mean there's some people that
pray all the time and then a crisis
comes along and they don't pray and
there's other people that never pray and
a crisis comes along please open however
you pray is however you pray it's
another good quote isn't it however you
praise however you pray
so where am I going with this
your prayer could be just asking for
strength or asking for guidance
like I've said in other videos like it's
good to have a higher power something
out there I mean I don't even know what
mine is but I believe there's something
bigger than me out there do I pray daily
no but I say thank you a lot
I believe in like gratitude and so thank
you for the lovely day thank you that I
woke up thank you that my children a
healthy thank you that I'm happy and
that and that's kind my prayer so it can
be that kind prayer it can be just
asking for a bit of strength I would try
and not be like why have you done this
to me because I think that will probably
make you feel worse but very similar to
meaning like show me why why am I going
through this help me see why I'm going
through this there is a prayer that they
do in Alcoholics Anonymous
from the serenity prayer and I really
like that prayer it is god grant me the
serenity to accept the things I cannot
change the courage to change the things
I can and the wisdom to know the
so like god grant me to write just say
you're in a really bad abusive
relationship and you say the prayer god
grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change
okay I can't change someone else I can't
stop them being the way they are courage
to change the things I can I can leave
them that is something I can change I
can't change them but I can change the
situation amen
and so yeah I really like that prayer
and I find it quite helpful especially
when I am powerless over things and I
can't change things it's quite a nice
prayer to see
at relaxation it sounds like it'd be
really hard one because I know when I'm
in a crisis some hand is going like this
I'm getting angry
my body's tense and I'm just feeling
like horrible the last thing I want is
you know let's light some candles and
relax and because I'm just not going to
do that but but what I can do for me and
I was taught this if you like tense all
your muscles go from your head your neck
your shoulders your fists all over and
breathe even every time you breathe out
just let it go a little bit and relax a
little bit
and what you'll find is you're a lot
more relaxed than you actually were now
if you can sit down and do that and
really focus on your breathing every
time you breathe out relax another part
of your body and a bit more and a bit
more and a bit more you will you'll find
you a lot more relaxed and also focusing
on the breathing will stop your mind
driving you crazy say that's relaxing
one thing in the moment that is
basically about keeping it in the moment
because I will tell you what I do I am
in a crisis just how Wow with the
boyfriend and I'm like so ho angry and
he hates me why would he do that to me
we're never gonna work out and that's
what I'm doing I'm building on that but
then I stopped going my last boyfriend
did it in the one before did it and one
for and I start bringing all those old
crisises and bad relationships into it
so now I'm not only vibe about this
crisis I've got all my past processes I
said that's it but that's not enough for
me because I want a bigger crisis so
then I start projecting into the future
that if I meet someone else they'll do
it to me no time
well old I'm not gonna have anyone so
now I've got all my problems now what
problems in the past
all my problems in the future they don't
make me feel good so basically it's not
think that future don't think that past
just keep it in here and now what's
going on now it's just one crisis and it
makes it so much easier then the mad
stuff vacation now
vacation is boy it says vacation holiday
a break now before I have children I was
lucky in the fact that my dad my lovely
stepmom live in Ireland in Dublin and
whenever I had a crisis over in England
I would hop on a plane and go and stay
with them for a week and then come back
then I had kids and I can't do that
anymore and so a lot of people you can't
just pack up and hop on a plane or go on
a cruise it's just not doable so it's
just a vacation from the problem right
now it could be if you've got a problem
where you're going to sit in your car
for five minutes it could be you just go
to a coffee shop and say I don't have a
coffee on your own and you could be at
home you could put on a film shut the
curtains and pop on that and just have a
break it could be going for a nice walk
it could be sitting in a park and having
a picnic and it is like I said just a
break it could be having a bath
the thing with vacation is that it does
work that timing and knowing when you
can have a vacation for example to say
I've got crisis and it's time to click
the kids from school and I think I need
a vacation and I'm going to the park and
I decide not to get my kids from school
well all I've done is created another
crisis and the same thing if it's at
work and I have something I have to have
done for work the next day and I think
do you know what I'll deal with it later
I'm having a vacation and I have my
vacation and then later comes and I
think I am not done with this vacation I
want a bit longer
Lord some telly and then the next day
comes I haven't done my work my boss is
mad at me of course but other crisis so
it's knowing how long you can have your
vacation for when you can have it
without causing loads of other problems
because the whole point of it is to help
you with this crisis not cause loss of
other processes right so what what are
we on encouragement and that is about
self encouragement encouraging your self
self-talk positive self-talk because in
a time of crisis we're very good Oh
everything's think bad mmm
poor me and this is like do you know
what you can get through this you're
gonna be alright
you are a strong person and really like
mean it not just well yeah you might be
alright you will be alright
you are amazing it isn't your room isn't
maybe not like that but that's what I
mean you got the food really mean it and
she leads yourself go Serena go Serena
you're the best you're the best or
whatever you need to do to get through
the problem and the crisis yeah and
basically that's it um I know when I go
to the gym and I am on a treadmill or oh
my god I'm so tired I'm so tired I think
I'm gonna die I just pressed the stop by
and I get off but other times like if
I'm like you know you can do this you're
doing really good you're gonna be Sophie
you're gonna run back then you're gonna
be the fastest person inning end and I
will keep going and it showed me the
power of positive self-talk
that makes sense so
yeah that's all of them guys improve
improving the moment I am hoping to do
the final one of distress tolerance
which is pros thinking pros and cons on
Friday hopefully if all goes well and I
get the time to do it I will do it I'm
gonna also start trying to do once a
week check in and let you know just how
well my life's going or how bad just how
my life's going and any problems that
I've come across in the week because
there are always some problems trust me
but yes ah take care guys bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

2 thoughts on “Distress Tolerance – DBT Skill – Improving the Moment

  1. I’m having a hard time finding your DVD on dbt. I’m the on that is waiting dbt for 18 months. But I’m starting an intro next week and I’m going to see addictions next week. I’ve been hospitalize twice recently and 3 suiside attempts since may. I refuse meds right now and I’m only drinking wine 3 times a week. But I’m so sick in between drinks. I feel so tired n sick all the time and think I’m dying of cancer or a rare illness…I don’t know where I’m goin with this. I’m now listening you to talk about pray. I can’t pray…..which is ironic when I’m one of jehovahs witnesses. In my religion we don’t talk about this and we’re not encouraged to get worldly help. We are expected to rely on God and to do his will daily which is to go door to door and teach n preach.

    • Hi Hunni, I am so sorry for such a late reply. Thank you for your comments. I know due to religious reasons you probably won’t want to take your meds – and I can’t tell you that you must. But I can say that whatever God is out there would want you to have a happy life. I personally am not religious but I am spiritual. I believe there is a higher power out there but I have no idea what it is. I believe in being kind to ourselves and to others. Cllearly right now you are really struggling. I personally know that medication can help take the edge off. It doesn’t solve everything but it helps enough that we can then look in to doing therapy. My videos on DBT are under my playlist on YouTube called ‘The Solutions’. If you go to my home page there is also a section called The Solutions and the DBT videos are all under here. I do not want to go in to the whole religious thing as I don’t think it’s appropriate but I do think if there is a God out there he/she is a kind one and certainly wouldn’t want us to try and take our own lives. We only have one life – and it can be amazing. We just have to fight for our recovery…but it is so so worth it. You CAN do this. I think you need to be kind to yourself and start looking at how you can start your recovery process. You do not have to go on suffering. Sending you lots of love xxx

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