In this video I discuss using your 5 senses to self-soothe when you are overwhelmed with negative emotions.

hi guys today I'm doing a video on the
DBT skill distress tolerance I did a
video the other day on the first skill
of DM distress tolerance and that was
distracting Weis mind except today I am
going to do a video I'm self soothing
and over the next week or so I will do
the other two skills improving the
moment and thinking of pros and cons
basically all the skills in distress
tolerance that we talk they are there to
help us when we have extremely
overwhelming negative emotions when
usually when we have these emotions we
will act impulsively we might use drugs
we might drink for my self harm to a
suicide gamble or whatever and all these
skills won't necessarily work for you
there will be certain ones that you like
and others that just dismiss if they
don't work just don't use them and it is
about practice practice practice I said
that in the other video and the like
these things won't necessarily work the
first time you need and use them but the
more you practice them the more that
they become ingrained and the more they
will start to work like I said before
try them all and just take from it what
works for you right so self-soothing
usually when we have these overwhelming
negative emotions we drink use drugs
self-harm rah rah rah
basically we hurt ourselves
self-soothing is about doing the
opposite the opposite of hurting
ourselves we're going to love ourselves
we're going to be kind to ourselves
we're gonna nurture ourselves
we are going to self-soothe
now self-soothing think of your five
senses your hearing sight smell in
tasting and touching these are the
senses that we want to stimulate to help
you feel good I am going to go through
each of the senses and name different
things that you could do obviously
there's loads more that you can do if I
kind to give you an idea you'll know
what I'm all about and then obviously if
you can think of others that would work
better for you use them so the first one
I'll start with is hearing something
that sounds good something that when we
hear it it makes us feel good it could
be music classical music chill-out music
just instrumental music I'm kind of
thinking not something's words that you
can attach a motion to but just
something to out calm you don't it
doesn't even have to be music you listen
to you can get CDs like nature CDs I
like sound of rain forests or waterfalls
and you can even go outside and just
listen to nature and go on and walk in a
park and listen to the birds listen to
the rustling of the leaves you could go
to the beach if you live near a beach
listen to the sounds of the waves if you
don't want to go out and you don't have
access to a CD you could just listen to
the think sounds around you mindfully
like because obviously right now I've
got the washing machine I can hear it
whirring but y'all don't pay any notice
well I'm talking about to sit down close
your eyes and say right what can I hear
the washing machine I can hear myself
breathing I can hear people talking
side I can hear a bird you know and just
focus on that really focus on those
sounds um yeah so that's it kind that's
kind of what I mean by hearing different
things for hearing I will now move on to
vision what do you like to look at
do you like nature you can go for a walk
and just look at trees look of flowers
nature might not be your thing you might
be into architecture see if there's an
old cathedral or an old church nearby
and just go and look you might be into
art you could go to an art gallery you
could go to a museum
basically just anything that you like
the look of I can't really think of any
more to look at but there's so many
things I mean I just love going out and
got walking on the beach watching the
way I was looking at the sea people
watching me could people watch um so the
next scents smell right okay so what
smells good I know I love the smell of a
cake baking in the oven or bread baking
but I'm often too lazy to bake bread or
cakes so you could go to your local
bakery and steal their smell and when
you go outside like different times of
the year in the summer you can smell
barbecues you might smell freshly cut
grass you can smell flowers and you
might smell after the rain you know that
smells quite nice after it's been
raining in the winter you might smell
log fires burning
and that I say smells aren't really one
for me but having said that I like my
scented candles I really like my scented
candles if you don't have scented
candles spritz and perfume and smell the
coffee I like the smell of coffee when I
first got with my partner and he left a
jumper round him and I used to sit in
oh oh oh so embarrassing now but I did
and I think what smells of him live that
and I hope he doesn't watch the video
yeah it's that confident it that smell
and I'll be able to sit and yeah that's
really really nice
that's so sad isn't it
right anywhere he tastes um what do you
like the taste of I'm a girl I like
chocolate but often I will grab a
chocolate bar and harima children's
Easter eggs remember and but I'm talking
about really just focus on the taste
like if you use have a hot choc there
sip it really taste it do it mindfully
cuz I mean we eat every day but do we
really even notice the different taste
we soak we just eat which is heat so I'm
talking about just sitting of focusing
on the textures the tastes the
temperature and really savor it and
honestly it's so much it tastes like a
different meal and when you do that what
other tastes it could be coffee it could
just be a cup of tea like a spring
British loved a cup of tea and we drink
tea all the time but often like I know
it has been a mum the amount of times I
put my tea down is does
left to go cold but until talking about
Ashley I just remember something when I
used to have to phone the crisis line
because I was going crazy and on the odd
occasion don't I didn't find them a lot
but now and again I'll say this but I'd
pick up the phone one time my mum phoned
them gave me the phone and they're like
go and have a cup of tea I thought you
know what pain I'm in do you
your daily and um but now when I've done
this I kind crying to get it like
they're not just saying I'll just gonna
have a cup of tea it's like just calm
focus on the tea drink the tea and it's
very relaxing when you do that I'm not
saying those cup of tea can solve it
anything and everything but it is better
than just looking it down you know
really savoring it right mm-hmm
what what since if I done hearing touch
suck this is actually my favorite one
touching cuz I like meat I like we touch
that sounds so wrong um starts again
touch right yes it is my favorite
because it's like the physical sensation
isn't it like having a massage I mean
your hair strokes it's just very
relaxing I like having a hot bath with
bubbles and just lying and relaxing huh
ah but you might like hot shower might
like a cool shower you might like a hot
bath you might like to lie on a cold
hard floor you might like to lie in a
nice soft bed you might like to
recognize fleecy blanket around you you
might like to put nice soft pajamas on
and if you have a pet stroke your pet
so there's so so many you can do I'm
gonna finish on the five senses I've
done the five senses have I covered
everything you don't just have to use
one sense like when I have my hot bubble
bath I have the lights off and a candle
scented candle I have my bubbles I have
music playing you might have when you're
in the hot bath getting really hot a
nice cold drink
yeah the opposite is quite refreshing no
you're lying in the path and so yeah the
same like when you go for a walk you're
kind of seeing things you're hearing
things pics and flowers I know that
kills them don't pick flowers it's going
hug the tree hug a tree but you know I
mean just get back to nature use all
your senses you can do it with a meal
look at your lovely food um yeah I think
that's it guys but like I said the same
it distracting not all of them are going
to work so just try them see what works
for you what does practice practice
and I'll be doing another video next
week now on improving the moment and
then possibly next week thinking of pros
and cons as well all right take care
guys bye
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

5 thoughts on “Distress Tolerance – DBT Skill- Self-Soothing

  1. Fabulous video again Shehrina. We are really seeing your personality shine through which is beautiful xxx?

  2. Dear Shehrina,
    Thank you so much for this incredible website which I have been visiting ever since I heard your Mum on LBC. Have watched so many of your videos. Your honesty is so refreshing and helpful. My daughter, now 31, has been suffering with bulimia for 16 years but thanks to you I realized now that in fact she suffers with border line personality and that the bulimia is only her coping mechanism. It sounds like DBT is the best approach. Should she find a therapist (can you recommend one?) I am sure if she followed your self soothing videos, it would help but is that enough in your view or does she need the support of a therapist.
    Any advice would be truly appreciated. Thank you for making so many people feel better and well done to you for your achievement.

    • Thank you so much for your message. It must be so hard as a parent seeing your daughter suffer like that. I am sure my Mum can relate totally! If she is under a mental health team then I would ask them about what courses run in your area. DBT is amazing but not done everywhere in the UK. Its huge in America and should be over here! There is a course called STEPPS (Systematic Training for Emotional Predictability and Problem Solving) which is also good. I used to do a Womens Group that I loved as I met lots of other women going through exactly what I was. If she is not yet under a mental Health team then you need to be referred by a GP. My Mum used to go to all my appointments with me and pushed and pushed until I got in to the system! I think the videos may help but a therapist would be ideal as well. I believe in medication, Therapy, Self Help, Courses. If you combine them they work amazingly but on their own not so much. I hope your daughter finds recovery soon. Lots of Love to you all xxxxx

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