hi today I am going to do the final
installment of emotion regulation which
is part of dialectical behavioral
therapy DBT I am going to point out
which I have done before but I don't in
every video but I am NOT
DBT certified and I am not qualified or
trained in it at all but I have done it
as a patient and I'm telling you what I
know from when I did it
however actually when I did it how long
I did it about eight nine years ago and
I think since then it's come on a long
way as well but I don't know the new
stuff unfortunately also you might be
able to like pick up some skills and
practice them from watching my DBT
videos but just watching the videos
alone that is not classed as doing DBT
DBT is like whole package where you go
in it's a group therapy where you work
in a group and you also work with
therapists and so you have like
one-to-one counseling so it is kind of a
whole package and so you can't just say
watch my videos and say yeah often DBT
because it's just not the same if if you
can get on an actual DBT course with
someone who is DBT certified that will
be so beneficial for you and I would
HIGHLY highly recommend it
right okay so emotion regulation this is
the final one and it is called opposite
action and basically what it is it's
what it says is doing the opposite
action to the emotion that you're
feeling so if you're feeling really
angry you might want to go on punch
someone in the face or start off right
the opposite that would be not to
confront them but to walk away and take
your away from yourself away from the
situation
now the doing opposite action it's not
trying to suppress your emotions it is
not invalidating your emotions saying
well just don't do that do something
else it is basically you're still going
to feel the emotion but the action
you're going to do is opposite and what
that does over time that will help
change the emotion it will give you a
better outcome because obviously going
and punching someone in the face the
outcome is not going to be as good as if
you've walked away and calm down again
as with all the skills it takes practice
it's not going to work straightaway
um but it works for lots of different
emotions so let me think for another
emotion right I used to get really bad
anxiety to the point that I couldn't
leave the house I was so scared it was
like that fear of everything now the
opposite action to that would be to face
my fear and to go out not easy to do but
it gets easier and once you've done it
and you've achieved it that first time
the next times a bit easier and he's
really into the to the point where you
can go out without that fear um when I
was depressed my therapist taught me
this one that showed not depressed I
just don't want to get up I didn't want
to get out bed all didn't want to get
off the sofa I didn't want to see anyone
I didn't do anything I was just I just
felt tired and drained and I just wanted
to lie there and be left alone and she
was like why don't you go for a run
wouldn't go to the gym you kidding me
are you freaking kidding me but one day
I took her advice and I did that and I
went to the gym
and I had a good energetic workout and I
felt great after and so I did it again
and it wasn't easy to do because when
you're in that state and you do not want
to get up the last thing you want to do
is go to the gym or go for a run or do
something energetic but it was one of
the best bits of advice I've ever had I
think it's not just because it releases
the serotonin or dopamine in the brain
the feel-good chemicals but I found is
so helpful so even if you can't be
bothered go for a run but just get up go
for a walk just get out if you don't
want to get out do the opposite action
what other emotions are there again like
sad sad
we just from a cry and cry and cry the
opposite of that would be do something
that makes you laugh but having said
that there are certain times and I think
it's really good to cry just let it all
out and have a good cry and you'll feel
better but I'm talking about when it's
just crying constant constant constant
constant you need to just let it out
in a different way and your emotions
you'll find your emotion shifting like
with all of them I have said it does
take practice it's not going to happen
straight away but it is so beneficial
once you've got the hang of it and you
can put it into action and you see that
because a lot of these negative emotions
we acts on them impulsively and then our
behaviors are negative the outcome is
negative and it just makes the whole
situation worse so by doing this doing
the opposite ear so you're still acting
on the emotions but you're just acting
in a different way on the emotions so
the outcome isn't negative
and it kind of breaks that cycle so it's
not then you haven't gone negative
outcome which makes you feel negative
which makes you do something if that
makes sense
I am going to stop that video there
today I was keen to do it because I
wanted to finish up on emotion
regulation because then we can start
interpersonal effectiveness
hopefully next week but I'm also aware
my kids aren't back at school next week
so it will be finding some time so if
not next week the week after and that
yet interpersonal effectiveness is
amazing because it's all about how we
talk to other people how we get what we
want and we get off e button it sounds
really bad know how we get warm but in a
positive way where we're both happy I'll
explain more next week week after but
take care guys bye