In this video I talk about my experience around step 1.

Transcript:
hi today I am going to do a video on
step one of the 12 steps I am gonna do
the other steps in different videos
probably over the next few months
right step 1 we admitted we were
powerless over alcohol or our addiction
that our lives have become unmanageable
now that seems like quite an easy step
because chances are if you've come in to
a 12-step fellowship or you've gone into
treatment you've hit rock bottom and
it's very easy when you've hit rock
bottom to say powerless a life
step one is not a step that anyone can
help you take it is not a working step
you don't do any work towards it it's
one in your mind where you're completely
honest with yourself and you admit that
you have no control over your drug or
alcohol use I say no one can help you
with that and because I went into
treatment because I'd kept telling my
family I swear I wouldn't use again I
swear I promise I promise and I really
did believe it but sure enough hours
later I'll be using so soon enough my
family stopped believing me mm-hmm and
I'd run out of options and I was like
right I need rehab so I went into
treatment for my family to prove that I
was serious
so in treatment we did work on steps 1 2
& 3 mainly on step 1 a lot of written
work I wrote essays and essays on how I
was powerless and there were so many
times I could write down that I said I'd
only get a little bit and then got more
or I got loads to last a week but did it
in a couple of hours or I said I
wouldn't use on this day because it was
such an important time Dale whoever and
I would use so it was very easy for me
to write down while I was powerless I
then had to do the same with
unmanageability write down how messed up
my life was basically and that was again
very easy to do so it looked like yep
she's taken her step one to a counselor
reading it but inside I was thinking
when I get out of here because I've had
clean time I can use successfully I will
just use on special occasions
I will only drink at weekends being
abstinent wasn't even an option I didn't
even consider it I never thought I'd be
abstinent so was I taking step one no I
wasn't on paper it looked like I had it
I knew what I was doing I knew I was
powerless but actually I didn't and I
had to get really honest with myself and
that took time for me it didn't come
straightaway
I kept thinking it did but there not to
keep relapsing until one day I was like
I am actually powerless and that's
when I realized I can no longer use
drugs successfully I think for people
you got in a 12-step fellowship like I'm
not talking on behalf of a a or any
12-step relationship I can just give you
my experience I think it's very easy you
come in you've hit rock bottom you take
that first step you work for this
temperature doing your program and cuz
everything's you doing everything right
life starts becoming manageable again
you start getting nice things you have
money something you've never had you
know all your money went on drugs before
now you can go out and treat yourself
occasionally go out for a bite to eat
you might get employed get get a job
your family have forgiven you you got
kids
in your life everything is going lovely
and that little thought comes in your
head it's not I haven't used for a long
time maybe I wouldn't be powerless maybe
I can have one and that happened for me
and I picked up because um I completely
forgot my step one so for me I've
realized that is a step that I have to
take every single day it's no good going
from steps one to twelve and then just
working step 12 which is helping others
and sharing the message and forget all
about your step one because very slowly
you're going to be in trouble and also
in secondary treatment I did work on
powerlessness and unmanageability on not
drugs and alcohol but other things I'm
powerless over I am powerless over
people how they act how they behave what
they say I'm powerless over things the
weather which you're probably thinking
what has this got to do with it but for
me it was really important because I
could let something like a rainy day
mess up my whole day especially if I'd
say plan my daughter's birthday and it
was outside and I expected it to be
sunny and it was rainy and I'd become
really unmanageable around that I
couldn't I couldn't cope very well with
other people if I did they did something
I didn't like I wanted to be in control
of everything around me and I think
that's the case probably not just for
addicts for a lot of people but today I
can accept that I'm powerless over what
people do in that and it's made my life
easier because I don't have to take on
their share and build resentments and
get angry inside
because I can let it go now so yeah I
use step one with lots of different
things in my life but I also have to
definitely do it regarding my addiction
on a daily basis it's not something that
I can just forget I have to remind
myself Const
yes so if you are out there and you have
recovery friends and you're saying yeah
I'm powerless but inside you're thinking
I could have a sneaky one
then you're not true you're not you're
not doing it properly do it properly
This transcript was auto-generated and therefore may contain mistakes.

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