hi guys sorry I haven't done a video in
a while basically January was taken up
with my kids been sick for me being sick
it was a really crappy month but I'm
back and I'm going to her first of all
redo my step 2 video step 2 of the 12
steps because I watched it over and
thought it was shit basically I felt
when I explained it I kind of assumed
that everyone knows what step 2 is and I
just jumped right into it and looking at
it like when I first came into recovery
I had no idea what the slow steps were
and so I'm gonna try and read re explain
it to you as if I'm explaining it to
myself and I first came in so step two
is came to believe a Power greater than
ourselves could restore us to sanity
that freaked me out because I was like
came to believe they're trying to make
me believe in a power that I thought
they were a cult or make me believe what
they wanted me to believe not only that
they had the nerve to suggest I was
insane I was fucking insane so yeah I
really struggled with step two then I
cared didn't like the way it was worded
Olde English right didn't like it didn't
like them telling me I can't I came to
believe something awful not alone but
her now no they're not a cult it's not a
cult fellowships are not a cult and you
can believe in whatever higher power you
want to believe him and that was a
really big thing for me growing up I was
raised a Catholic my family were
Catholic my mum dragged me to church
every Sunday and I hate it for years so
I kind of had that idea or God but I
must say I'm not religious now
um but I do believe there is a Power
greater than us I have a higher power I
don't even know what it is really and
that's okay
I just believe this something out there
don't know what I don't call it God
power the universe maybe that works for
me
so let's look at right what powers out
there are greater than me the weather I
can't stop a tornado I can't stop a
tsunami they're all it's a bigger power
some nature
looking back at my using I could not get
myself clean but when I came into a
fellowship where there is a group of
people they that help me so that the
fellowship as a whole the meetings that
was how a greater than me because I
couldn't do it on my own but I could do
it with them and it's not good to say I
don't really all have like one other
person like my sponsor will get me clean
my sponsor will be my higher power or
worse my partner will get me clean and
the reason for that is if that one
person slips up where does that leave
you um so yeah basically higher power it
can be wherever you want there's people
of all different religions in 12-step
fellowships a lot of people do call
their the power great themselves god I
don't um but that's okay it can
literally be your understanding what
what is your higher power wars bigger
than you there are people that like
agnostic an atheist and they come in and
they can do this and accept this over
time and like I said I struggled to
start with but that's okay
it right at the beginning it says came
to believe so it's not saying you need
to believe now
not saying believe it's not saying you
will believe saying came to believe and
which suggests progress so is it doesn't
happen you kinda just have to have a bit
hope be willing to give it a try
I mean you could give it a try and if it
doesn't work for you so right that's not
for me but when you're that desperate I
think like I was your what you will be
willing to try anything
for me I could go into a meeting and sit
down and I was really judgmental to
start with I didn't want to do it I
didn't believe him like came to believe
of him 8.now so load of bollocks but I
could look around the meeting and say
well actually this work for loads of
these people so I'll give it a go
countably power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity which means
we must have been insane
now I what I did when I got doing the 12
steps I actually looked up these guys
called Joe and Charlie they're based in
America and they do a big book study and
they go through the 12 steps you can
listen to their audio if you look at
online and they explain everything so
brilliantly and they kind of explained
the insanity insanity is your mind could
be fine it doesn't mean you're
completely crazy your mind could be fine
but it just means there's a bit missing
so family life can be good you could be
doing your job good everything to be
going good but when it comes to alcohol
or drugs something's not quite right and
for me what wasn't quite right was I
through my past experience I knew as
soon as I put a drug in me I would not
be able to stop I knew that if I did a
line a coke I'd be off and running for
days but just say oh it run out finally
I'd gone to sleep I woke up and all of a
sudden that bit of my brain would forget
and I think you know what I'm just gonna
get a little bit and tonight will be
different I will be able to control it
this time so clearly something wasn't
quite right because I never ever could
control it and that's what it means by
the insanity you could be the most sane
person in every aspect of your life but
when it comes to this problem you're
insane
um yes step two it's an important step
as are all the steps you can't go from
step do what what step one and think or
miss out two and three and not just do
so it doesn't work like that you do have
to go through them in order and make
sure you do each one properly I mean I'm
not part of 12-step fellowships anymore
but I do believe they work I've seen
them work for so many people and and
obviously as I've been through them and
done them myself I'm gonna tell you like
how it was for me um what I thought of
them really I think I'll leave that let
me see you later guys hi