This is the ‘dreaded’ step in which we have to admit our defects to someone else – ARRRRRRR! I think the worse you feel before – the better you feel after – so chin up!
Transcript:
hi guys today I'm going to do step 5 of
the 12 steps step 5 is it's a little
admitted to God to ourselves and to
another human being the exact nature of
our wrongs right so we've just done step
4 which is our personal inventory we've
taken stock we've looked at all the
people that hurt us the people we have
her and why we've gone into real depth
and step 4 and we've got it put it all
down on paper now we have to take that
paper and go and sit with someone
basically read it out and tell them
everything on there it was like for me
that was even worse than doing step but
all it was bad enough looking at myself
I really struggled doing step 4
I didn't want to look at myself I didn't
look at my defects as far as I was
concerned I didn't have very many it
turned out I did and now I had to share
it with someone and I really really did
not want to do that but as with all the
steps they are vital in your recovery
from addiction to either drugs alcohol
or whatever it may be so I knew I had to
take this step the first thing I would
say is think very carefully about who
you are going to take this step with who
are you going to read this to I would
not recommend reading it to your partner
or your mom or your dad or like a close
friend certainly not if there's stuff in
there that could hurt them anyway
but I just
I've got a big book here and step5
starts on page 72 and it's called
interaction it's finally we're gonna put
this stuff that we've done into action
right so I'm just going to skip ahead
actually to page 74
and on page 74 there's a whole page
talking about who should you do it with
should you go and talk to someone in
religious group psychologist doctor
because it says of course we sometimes
encounter people who do not understand
alcoholics now what you've got to
remember this book is written in the
thirties or forties but that's
completely gone from my mind but anyway
it was written a long time ago this is
where AAA started from so it wasn't a
big fellowship like it is today
so when Bill Wilson wrote this book he
it was it wasn't like just go to someone
in AAA because he had hardly any members
then and so it was a lot harder for
someone back then to find someone
because it actually says oh yeah
notwithstanding the great necessity for
discussing ourselves with someone it may
be one is so situated that there is no
suitable person available if that is so
this step may be postponed that was back
then when it would have been a lot
harder to find someone because people
didn't understand our colleagues back
then so for you today it is very easy
you have a wide twist I mean you could
still go to your priest and if you do
decide to go to say a priest or like a
religious leader
just bear in mind that it will be much
more confession you're probably not
going to get much back and this step you
can get so much from it I think if you
do it with someone within a fellowship
aana whatever fellowship you're part of
the whole point is you will go through
you will list your defects you will say
everything and then you listen with an
open mind to the advice that is given
like because even though I had done my
inventory in Step four and I thought I'd
done it so well because of course I did
of course I did it so well I still
couldn't see my own defects as well as
an outsider kit so like I wrote
everything down and for example there
was one thing and I icy wall I did that
because of fear I was feared up my
sponsor was like no you did that because
you're selfish you see and I just didn't
see that and it took for someone else to
tell me for me to realize oh yes you
might be right
so yeah if you are going to do it or
definitely do it with someone that's
part of a fellowship they do understand
our colleagues they've been through it
before but that's not to say don't
choose wisely who you're gonna this is a
big step and you want to someone that
you can really trust
hopefully in chances are it will be your
sponsor and when you chose that sponsor
you would watch the before you liked how
they were in the meeting you look liked
how they what they did outside the
meeting and because you do find people
that are so you know they just say all
the right things in the meeting but they
don't walk the walk outside the meeting
and it's like they don't practice what
they preach basically so if you have
chosen wisely and you've got your
sponsor and you trust them then that is
who you will be sharing you'll step
forward with in step five
like I said in step four be honest don't
leave anything out it's exactly the same
here
don't be reading through your thing and
thinking I'll tell them this but not
that and I'll tell them this because
again it's just pointless because it is
those little things that you're holding
back that will get you right so we have
the big Burke
we have interaction on page 72 now in
the first I'll read the first paragraph
taking right having made our personal
inventory watched shall we do about it
we have been trying to get a new
attitude that's step two a new
relationship with our Creator that's
step three and to discover the obstacles
in our path step 4
we have admitted certain defects when we
have ascertained in a rough way what the
trouble is we have put a finger on the
weak items in our personal inventory now
these are about to be cast out this
requires action on our part which when
completed will mean that we had admitted
to our god we had admitted to God to
ourselves and to another unto another
human being the exact nature of our
defects so step 5 the exact nature of
our wrongs and now it's a lien that
means that picture of our defects it's
like what's what
basically it's quite well known actually
Bill Wilson who wrote this he does not
like to use the same word over and over
and over and over apparently he thought
it showed how dumb people were so he
will use lots of different words all
meaning the same thing so you will
throughout the book of five wrongs
defects shortcomings flaws it all means
exactly the same thing
and so yeah basically that is step five
you have to sit down with someone else
and you're telling God your higher power
and this other person everything your
life story everything everything that
you've done and step 5 I came as quite a
surprise to me because I don't know why
I expected but I kinda thought
zombie-like oh my god to a horrible
person and that's completely the
opposite of what I got and actually like
I said in one of my step four videos
after doing it my my sponsor actually
then went through my good points I was
like right this is what you've got left
these are all your good points and it
was so nice and it was so freeing and it
was like just this weight off my
shoulder that I've talked to someone
just about everything it's about being
humble if I'm humility and I really did
um feel humble at the end of it
I felt free and I felt ready to get on
and do the next steps because for me
that was the real hard bit to get
through and likewise you'll probably
think feeling feared up am I gonna be
judged you know what you got to think if
you're doing this as part of a
fellowship we've kind all been there
we've all done stuff from what you might
think like oh my god is the worst thing
ever sounds like nothing that's nothing
um and I think once you have done it you
will feel so free yeah definitely like a
weight has been lifted so I will do I
think steps six and seven together next
time but until then my lovelies take
care bye
the 12 steps step 5 is it's a little
admitted to God to ourselves and to
another human being the exact nature of
our wrongs right so we've just done step
4 which is our personal inventory we've
taken stock we've looked at all the
people that hurt us the people we have
her and why we've gone into real depth
and step 4 and we've got it put it all
down on paper now we have to take that
paper and go and sit with someone
basically read it out and tell them
everything on there it was like for me
that was even worse than doing step but
all it was bad enough looking at myself
I really struggled doing step 4
I didn't want to look at myself I didn't
look at my defects as far as I was
concerned I didn't have very many it
turned out I did and now I had to share
it with someone and I really really did
not want to do that but as with all the
steps they are vital in your recovery
from addiction to either drugs alcohol
or whatever it may be so I knew I had to
take this step the first thing I would
say is think very carefully about who
you are going to take this step with who
are you going to read this to I would
not recommend reading it to your partner
or your mom or your dad or like a close
friend certainly not if there's stuff in
there that could hurt them anyway
but I just
I've got a big book here and step5
starts on page 72 and it's called
interaction it's finally we're gonna put
this stuff that we've done into action
right so I'm just going to skip ahead
actually to page 74
and on page 74 there's a whole page
talking about who should you do it with
should you go and talk to someone in
religious group psychologist doctor
because it says of course we sometimes
encounter people who do not understand
alcoholics now what you've got to
remember this book is written in the
thirties or forties but that's
completely gone from my mind but anyway
it was written a long time ago this is
where AAA started from so it wasn't a
big fellowship like it is today
so when Bill Wilson wrote this book he
it was it wasn't like just go to someone
in AAA because he had hardly any members
then and so it was a lot harder for
someone back then to find someone
because it actually says oh yeah
notwithstanding the great necessity for
discussing ourselves with someone it may
be one is so situated that there is no
suitable person available if that is so
this step may be postponed that was back
then when it would have been a lot
harder to find someone because people
didn't understand our colleagues back
then so for you today it is very easy
you have a wide twist I mean you could
still go to your priest and if you do
decide to go to say a priest or like a
religious leader
just bear in mind that it will be much
more confession you're probably not
going to get much back and this step you
can get so much from it I think if you
do it with someone within a fellowship
aana whatever fellowship you're part of
the whole point is you will go through
you will list your defects you will say
everything and then you listen with an
open mind to the advice that is given
like because even though I had done my
inventory in Step four and I thought I'd
done it so well because of course I did
of course I did it so well I still
couldn't see my own defects as well as
an outsider kit so like I wrote
everything down and for example there
was one thing and I icy wall I did that
because of fear I was feared up my
sponsor was like no you did that because
you're selfish you see and I just didn't
see that and it took for someone else to
tell me for me to realize oh yes you
might be right
so yeah if you are going to do it or
definitely do it with someone that's
part of a fellowship they do understand
our colleagues they've been through it
before but that's not to say don't
choose wisely who you're gonna this is a
big step and you want to someone that
you can really trust
hopefully in chances are it will be your
sponsor and when you chose that sponsor
you would watch the before you liked how
they were in the meeting you look liked
how they what they did outside the
meeting and because you do find people
that are so you know they just say all
the right things in the meeting but they
don't walk the walk outside the meeting
and it's like they don't practice what
they preach basically so if you have
chosen wisely and you've got your
sponsor and you trust them then that is
who you will be sharing you'll step
forward with in step five
like I said in step four be honest don't
leave anything out it's exactly the same
here
don't be reading through your thing and
thinking I'll tell them this but not
that and I'll tell them this because
again it's just pointless because it is
those little things that you're holding
back that will get you right so we have
the big Burke
we have interaction on page 72 now in
the first I'll read the first paragraph
taking right having made our personal
inventory watched shall we do about it
we have been trying to get a new
attitude that's step two a new
relationship with our Creator that's
step three and to discover the obstacles
in our path step 4
we have admitted certain defects when we
have ascertained in a rough way what the
trouble is we have put a finger on the
weak items in our personal inventory now
these are about to be cast out this
requires action on our part which when
completed will mean that we had admitted
to our god we had admitted to God to
ourselves and to another unto another
human being the exact nature of our
defects so step 5 the exact nature of
our wrongs and now it's a lien that
means that picture of our defects it's
like what's what
basically it's quite well known actually
Bill Wilson who wrote this he does not
like to use the same word over and over
and over and over apparently he thought
it showed how dumb people were so he
will use lots of different words all
meaning the same thing so you will
throughout the book of five wrongs
defects shortcomings flaws it all means
exactly the same thing
and so yeah basically that is step five
you have to sit down with someone else
and you're telling God your higher power
and this other person everything your
life story everything everything that
you've done and step 5 I came as quite a
surprise to me because I don't know why
I expected but I kinda thought
zombie-like oh my god to a horrible
person and that's completely the
opposite of what I got and actually like
I said in one of my step four videos
after doing it my my sponsor actually
then went through my good points I was
like right this is what you've got left
these are all your good points and it
was so nice and it was so freeing and it
was like just this weight off my
shoulder that I've talked to someone
just about everything it's about being
humble if I'm humility and I really did
um feel humble at the end of it
I felt free and I felt ready to get on
and do the next steps because for me
that was the real hard bit to get
through and likewise you'll probably
think feeling feared up am I gonna be
judged you know what you got to think if
you're doing this as part of a
fellowship we've kind all been there
we've all done stuff from what you might
think like oh my god is the worst thing
ever sounds like nothing that's nothing
um and I think once you have done it you
will feel so free yeah definitely like a
weight has been lifted so I will do I
think steps six and seven together next
time but until then my lovelies take
care bye