hi i'm lovelyz happy Wednesday I need to
make an apology in advance the children
are still off school and they don't get
back to the first week of September so I
can't promise I'll have all three videos
out next week I'm trying I really want
to do them but it's very difficult when
the kids are so yeah I just wanted to
apologize in advance if I don't get them
out but like I said first week September
they back at school back from routine
everything be good and secondly I have a
few collaborations coming up actually
the first one is with Cory whose channel
is the borderline life and that should
be out next week so I'm very excited
about that I hope you all enjoy it and
thirdly in my last video I mentioned to
you that I have developed 10 steps that
I believe we can take to recover from
BPD now I think these steps could
actually work for anyone like with any
mental health issue but I focus on
borderline so we will stick with
borderline recovery now today I'm going
to talk to you about step 1 I when I
develop these steps I had inspiration
from the 12 steps of Alcoholics
Anonymous and I saw how they can work
but I wanted to adapt them and make them
so they fit borderline personality
disorder so they're not exactly the same
but they're similar in the fact that
just like the triceps are AAA they're
not just steps you take and put down and
forget about you do them they become a
way of life a spiritual way of life and
that's very much with the 10 steps I've
come up with all of them like them to be
a way of life for you and I believe if
you do follow them and you do them you
can recover so today like I said I'm
going to talk about step one and step
one is very similar to the first step of
a collapse Anonymous which is admit
we're powerless over alcohol and our
lives have become unmanageable
this step step one is basically we admit
that the problem lies within us we admit
there is a problem and when I say it
lies within us I say that for a reason
because when I got diagnosed with BPD
yeah I would say I've got BPD but deep
down I still didn't think I was the
problem I was too busy blaming
boyfriends or ex partners or ex events
like in boletus school and I really
accept that hang on okay these external
events certainly might have contributed
to em but at the end of the day the
problem is with me I am the problem
it's my behaviors the way I'm thinking
and feeling and I'm not saying that the
way we feel is wrong because our
feelings are perfectly valid but they
can be so intense that they can cause us
to have distorted thinking and we can
behave in a way that's not very nice and
we really need to in this first step
admit I'm the problem I need to do
something I need to take responsibility
and this is so important because if we
don't do this we're not gonna recover
now often step one will come when we
have literally hit rock bottom and we
feel nothing is ever going to change our
life we literally cannot get any worse
and when we hit rock bottom we have a
choice either to give up and stay there
or ok I'm gonna do something I'm gonna
take action and it's often when we hit
rock bottom that we finally we can see
clearly for the first time we are we
realize blaming other people doesn't
work holding on to past events doesn't
work it's not gonna make us feel any
better we're now
absolutely at rock-bottom and we kind of
like we see clear anything okay the
problems within me once we admit that
the problem is within us we can then
take action to change that and take our
lives back and recover from this
disorder now when we admit the problem
is within us we are not blaming
ourselves we didn't choose to have this
disorder but what we're doing is taking
responsibility and we have to do that we
have to admit that the problem lies
within us we have to because otherwise
recovery is not possible because we're
gonna carry on spending the rest of the
time blaming other people blaming life's
events asking why why me when actually
step one we just have to say okay I have
a problem
this is causing real problems in my life
I admit the problem is within me and I'm
going to do something about it so when
you admit the problem lies with an asset
right when I admitted it I didn't have
to go and tell people you just admit it
to yourself this is an internal thing
where you sit down and you recognize no
it's not everyone else around me causing
the problems that's not all the drama
then the one who's causing the drum I'm
the one causing the drama now it's not
nice to think like that but that's the
fact that's a fact that's what it is
that's what borderline personality is I
always had drama like always problems
with my relationships and no it wasn't
always my fault 100% at the time but a
lot of my problems stemmed because of me
because the borderline personality
disorder that I had other people don't
have it I have to admit the problem was
amid within me
and once we can do that we can then
start moving forward with the other
stats so I'm gonna leave that there
today guys but I'll be back I just don't
know what and I hope what we Black
Friday for you and ah a massive thank
you to all of you I reach 10,000
subscribers and it was so exciting and I
literally well I can do without you and
I just want you to know how very very
grateful I am so thank you and uh yeah
I'll be back in the week love you guys
bye